Patti, I wanted to offer some encouraging words as someone who is on the spectrum, who comes from a family where it's easier to pick out the few neurotypicals. As the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy says, "Don't panic!" Autism covers a lot of territory, and a wide range of abilities and disabilities. Having autism doesn't necessarily mean your child's life opportunities will be extremely limited. Some of us are among the best in our fields -- my cousin is a chemistry professor at Brown -- and manage to have rewarding family lives and relationships in addition to professional success.
The internet and social media have made it easier than ever for us to find each other. When I was a teenager, I didn't know anyone "like me." But now I regularly interact with many others on the spectrum. That community will be there to help you and your child.
As someone who had to fight doctors to pay attention and stop blaming me for our child’s behaviors and had to rely on ancient internet listservs for info on autism back in the day, my suggestion is to start with AutismSpeaks for information and support.
And start doing Floor Time with your child. It’s really low-key and easy and it’s something you can do now that can help.
Floor Time is a great beginning - in the early days it was just getting down on the floor and engaging with your child in back and forth interactions based just on what is fun or interesting to your child. Just following their lead and trying to get a rapport or just response going, depending on your child’s ability to engage. It really *is* a spectrum!
There is so much out there now to help. And there’s lots to learn but you can do it! Don’t be afraid or embarrassed to advocate for your kid! You will find other parents to bond with and learn from. I hope this helps! ❤️
My son was diagnosed when he was 2, and he is now 10. Connect with your child by joining them in their world. Listen with your heart and your child will show you the way. My son doesn’t speak, but he has plenty to say. Life got sweeter when I learned to listen.
Our son is non-verbal, 26, and the love of our lives. He makes us laugh and uplifts us. You don't need words to communicate. He makes his wishes clear to us through gestures, nods, smiles and happy and angry looks. We go out to eat at restaurants and he shakes hands, gives high fives, and fist bumps with the wait staff. He interacts and they engage him. Things are better these days than when he was 3. People are better and society is more inclusive. Thankfully, society is better in this area.
Allison's statement is wise. Love is the right path. It can be terrifying to think about his future, so don't do it, concentrate on the now. You are his voice and advocate. Don't compare milestones to others. Also, try to keep positive. Decades ago, I went to autism groups but left because it wasn't productive or helpful for us.
Early diagnosis is an *opportunity.* I turned out alright, but it took a while to get here, and, if I'd understood things better, I might not have had to go through some things.
Patti: my heart hears you, so much. We have a son who is 10 and only recently (or as I say FINALLY) diagnosed as autistic at 9. We struggled for years and kept yelling into the void to get someone to listen and diagnosis him properly. In a big way, it was a relief because I felt less alone and more understood and I blame myself way less now as if I was doing something wrong as a parent. I sometimes wonder if it would have been easier or harder to have had him diagnosed much younger but there is no way to know. One thing, if it helps at all to hear is that you are 100% not alone. There will be joy, there will be hard times, but you are not alone. There are so many resources out there like community support groups and other resources. My son has given me the gift of seeing the world in a different way and that’s made me a much better human. It ain’t easy but I wouldn’t change it for the world. Every child and human brings challenges and joys all wrapped up in one. Reach out for support in any way you can. We are lucky in todays age that there is more awareness and support. I hope you can find the needed support.
So true Allison and keenly applicable to all things challenging for parents. I have twin daughters cystic fibrosis and that’s a ditto ditto for sure. We started Like-Hearted House Concerts to fundraise towards a cure 31 years ago and it still keeps me going, especially on days where I feel a pressing to move towards hope. Plus its great fun to support artists and the generous live music loving community here in Nashville. Bright shiny silver linings abound.
Patti, I wanted to offer some encouraging words as someone who is on the spectrum, who comes from a family where it's easier to pick out the few neurotypicals. As the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy says, "Don't panic!" Autism covers a lot of territory, and a wide range of abilities and disabilities. Having autism doesn't necessarily mean your child's life opportunities will be extremely limited. Some of us are among the best in our fields -- my cousin is a chemistry professor at Brown -- and manage to have rewarding family lives and relationships in addition to professional success.
The internet and social media have made it easier than ever for us to find each other. When I was a teenager, I didn't know anyone "like me." But now I regularly interact with many others on the spectrum. That community will be there to help you and your child.
As someone who had to fight doctors to pay attention and stop blaming me for our child’s behaviors and had to rely on ancient internet listservs for info on autism back in the day, my suggestion is to start with AutismSpeaks for information and support.
And start doing Floor Time with your child. It’s really low-key and easy and it’s something you can do now that can help.
Floor Time is a great beginning - in the early days it was just getting down on the floor and engaging with your child in back and forth interactions based just on what is fun or interesting to your child. Just following their lead and trying to get a rapport or just response going, depending on your child’s ability to engage. It really *is* a spectrum!
There is so much out there now to help. And there’s lots to learn but you can do it! Don’t be afraid or embarrassed to advocate for your kid! You will find other parents to bond with and learn from. I hope this helps! ❤️
My son was diagnosed when he was 2, and he is now 10. Connect with your child by joining them in their world. Listen with your heart and your child will show you the way. My son doesn’t speak, but he has plenty to say. Life got sweeter when I learned to listen.
Our son is non-verbal, 26, and the love of our lives. He makes us laugh and uplifts us. You don't need words to communicate. He makes his wishes clear to us through gestures, nods, smiles and happy and angry looks. We go out to eat at restaurants and he shakes hands, gives high fives, and fist bumps with the wait staff. He interacts and they engage him. Things are better these days than when he was 3. People are better and society is more inclusive. Thankfully, society is better in this area.
Allison's statement is wise. Love is the right path. It can be terrifying to think about his future, so don't do it, concentrate on the now. You are his voice and advocate. Don't compare milestones to others. Also, try to keep positive. Decades ago, I went to autism groups but left because it wasn't productive or helpful for us.
Patti: my heart goes out to you. All the best moving forward❤️❤️❤️
Early diagnosis is an *opportunity.* I turned out alright, but it took a while to get here, and, if I'd understood things better, I might not have had to go through some things.
Patti: my heart hears you, so much. We have a son who is 10 and only recently (or as I say FINALLY) diagnosed as autistic at 9. We struggled for years and kept yelling into the void to get someone to listen and diagnosis him properly. In a big way, it was a relief because I felt less alone and more understood and I blame myself way less now as if I was doing something wrong as a parent. I sometimes wonder if it would have been easier or harder to have had him diagnosed much younger but there is no way to know. One thing, if it helps at all to hear is that you are 100% not alone. There will be joy, there will be hard times, but you are not alone. There are so many resources out there like community support groups and other resources. My son has given me the gift of seeing the world in a different way and that’s made me a much better human. It ain’t easy but I wouldn’t change it for the world. Every child and human brings challenges and joys all wrapped up in one. Reach out for support in any way you can. We are lucky in todays age that there is more awareness and support. I hope you can find the needed support.
Perfect Answer 👍
So true Allison and keenly applicable to all things challenging for parents. I have twin daughters cystic fibrosis and that’s a ditto ditto for sure. We started Like-Hearted House Concerts to fundraise towards a cure 31 years ago and it still keeps me going, especially on days where I feel a pressing to move towards hope. Plus its great fun to support artists and the generous live music loving community here in Nashville. Bright shiny silver linings abound.