Questions + Answers
From Patti
If there was one statement you could give to a mother of a three year old just diagnosed with autism, what would it be? Patti, Massachusetts
Dear Patti,
Yours was not the next question in the queue, but as soon as I got it last weekend I knew I needed to move it to the top. Whether you’re asking this question as a hypothetical one or if this mother is you or someone you know, I think this is an important question.
You’ve challenged me highly by asking me to give one statement. As you can probably imagine, there are many things to say about life with autism — some are appropriate at the time of diagnosis and some aren’t, and though there are a few generalizations, the saying goes if you know one person with autism, you know one person with autism. The spectrum part of autism can be frustrating — most disorders have symptoms that fall under a much smaller umbrella. Autism reaches deep and wide, and the manifestations are as personal as their bearer. That’s why the autism experts are most often the parents.
So, I guess I’ll give it a go.
Autism is a marathon, not a sprint, so above all, keep your senses of wonder and humor, and remember that the correct path is always the one that leads us to love.
I hope y’all have a fantastic weekend.
PEACE. LOVE.
Allison
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Patti, I wanted to offer some encouraging words as someone who is on the spectrum, who comes from a family where it's easier to pick out the few neurotypicals. As the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy says, "Don't panic!" Autism covers a lot of territory, and a wide range of abilities and disabilities. Having autism doesn't necessarily mean your child's life opportunities will be extremely limited. Some of us are among the best in our fields -- my cousin is a chemistry professor at Brown -- and manage to have rewarding family lives and relationships in addition to professional success.
The internet and social media have made it easier than ever for us to find each other. When I was a teenager, I didn't know anyone "like me." But now I regularly interact with many others on the spectrum. That community will be there to help you and your child.
Early diagnosis is an *opportunity.* I turned out alright, but it took a while to get here, and, if I'd understood things better, I might not have had to go through some things.