18 Comments

That's good advice for all of us recovering from trauma.

Expand full comment

Yes ma'am

Expand full comment

I would have liked all of that thought and wisdom when I was a teenager. Good thing we buckle up and go for the ride. It’s a journey and I came out feeling pretty good about myself. It was hard work.

Expand full comment

Wow. You've said so much in very few words. Thank you.

Expand full comment

Great question and since as i was told today and love I'm good with other people's words I'll simply ask if y'all ever sang or would Ballad of A Teenage Queen...? Cuz I'd love to hear that too! SJOCR

Expand full comment

Beautiful.

And If I could tell you how many times I have told my daughters about riding the wave...usually it was met with eye rolls but sometimes I think I got through :)

Expand full comment

Thanks so much for addressing my question, Allison. I hesitated a bit to ask this, because I know it's a heavy subject matter, especially in light of your traumatic childhood. I think we all would want to prepare our younger selves for the difficulties that lie ahead, but also provide reassurance that we will have the tools to navigate our journey with some degree of success. This also ties in with your post about regret, and what we would change if we could go back in time. All things considered, you have done miraculously well in your adult life, and are a great role model for many.

Expand full comment

Thank you again, Alice. 🤍

Expand full comment

Wow this is beautiful. I teach writing at NYU Stern and often ponder what makes great writing so great. I haven't really come up with the answer yet, but whatever that magic is, you have it in spades. Thanks for sharing. :)

Expand full comment

Thank you so much. 🤍

Expand full comment

“The situation you’ve been handed is not your fault. It’s going to be hard for you not to feel like an outsider for the rest of your life, but that isn’t what you are.” Something I need to take to heart.

Expand full comment

Tears in this grown man's eyes

Expand full comment

I enjoyed your wonderful and thoughtful reply to my sisters e-mail. We both feel some kind of lovely kinship to you and Shelby.

Your new series is meaningful to us. Thank you for being so open well spoken and well written.

Jan

Expand full comment

💦💧in my eyes Allison thank you for this

Expand full comment

I often wonder how this version of me would react if I found myself back in 1968. I hope we're all a bit lighter

Expand full comment

Allison, what a wise response to such an interesting question. We often get too soon old and too late wise. Knowledge may be gained through experience and study. A wise person builds their "house" on rock or a strong foundation, and true wisdom comes from God.

Here is a poem that that attempts to describe the difference between like and love:

"The difference between love and like

has something to do with the depth

of your emotions towards somebody.

Liking may give you that warm,

fluttery feeling inside.

But it can be temporary

based on superficial feelings.

that can change over time.

True Love involves deeper,

stronger emotions that last Forever."

Modern philosophers define seven types of love:

Eros: romantic, passionate love.

Philia: intimate, authentic friendship.

Ludus: playful, flirtatious love.

Storge: unconditional, familial love.

Philautia: self-love.

Pragma: committed, companionate love.

Agápe: empathetic, universal love.

The ancient Greeks placed love in five different categories:

Eros – Erotic love, love of beauty. Related to the modern Greek “erotas,” Eros speaks to sexual passion and intimate love.

Philia – Friendly love, love between equals.

Storge – Familial love, empathetic love of family.

Philautia – Self love. Narcissism. They may love that part of themselves they see in another person.

Agape – Unconditional love, altruistic love. Altruism is the principle and moral practice of concern for happiness of other human beings even if its at your expense. An altruistic person will literally sacrifice personal happiness for love of another.

An altrustic person can love someone even if they don't particularly "like" everything about them.

Like is more of a tender feeling, which may be temporary, towards a special someone, and it may fade with familiarity. - MRVERITAS.SUBSTACK.COM

Expand full comment

I had to digest this one overnight.

Bullet Ppintv#1- Wow. If only someone had said that to me. I wouldn’t have listened, but Wow. That one hurts.

Bullet Point #2-Same.

Bullet Point #4-Absolutely.

Also, I have learned over 50 years of literally riding the waves to cultivate preferring my own company. Between the people who let you down and those lost to the aforementioned, this week-GRAVITY-the ocean is always there. She never judges. She holds me, dances with me and makes me Whole again.

“I’ll get down to the sea, somehow.”

Sending love through tears brought on by truth...

JB

Expand full comment

Creating my world with water colors today, bright ones ...I have been journaling. You inspire me, though I admit...well, nope I will not lol...i love all of this! I practice a few regularly. Thank Allison

Expand full comment