Questions + Answers
From Erinn B.
Dear Allison,
Can you tell me if you’ve experienced a significant spiritual or mystical experience (e.g. an ah-ha moment, boundary dissolution, out of body, transcendence, ego-death …) that has empirically altered your life’s trajectory and/or perspective on the natural cycle of Life & Death (& Rebirth)?
Just curious. :)
In Gratitude,
Erinn B.
Dear Erinn,
Thank you for your letter and your question.
I have been blessed to have had many spiritual experiences. Some small, some large, but all meaningful and life-changing. I can’t list them all. I will, however, tell you about one thing that happened recently that really made a change in me that’s still evolving.
I had my first reiki session in Colorado last year. John Henry was attending an adventure camp during the day, and Hayes and I thought we’d go to the spa one afternoon. I had been feeling extra sensitive so I wasn’t up for a regular massage, and I had never had reiki, so I thought I’d try it. What happened during that hour is something I’ve thought about at least once a day since. I won’t go into fine detail, but it went something like this:
I went to my childhood home and found my 3-year-old self still there — she was patiently listening to music on the stereo while my mother lay dead under the baby grand piano. I went to my 3-year-old self as present day me and told her I was there to get her out. It took some doing and convincing, but I was finally able to get her to leave the house through accepting all the versions of myself that I have ever been (even the not so great versions), which had entered the room, and by also creating a living, attentive, and present mother to join hands with us that could leave that house too. When she joined hands with present day me, 3-year-old me, and the version of me that’s the one I’m most ashamed of (the critical, perfectionist, get shit done one), we flew out of that house and away from Frankville, Alabama. I know that sounds nuts but it was real. I also saw what’s in my third eye. And I’ve never heard anyone say that before so I don’t know why I know that’s the truth, but it is, and it showed me the next part of my path, which I hope/think I’ve found the beginning of now. It was an integration.
I hope y’all have a glorious weekend.
Peace. Love.
Allison
Damn.
I experienced something similar in EMDR. It was really eye opening and life changing to realize me as a child was still very much alive and well in the recesses of my mind. And that not only can I talk to her, that's it's really important that I do.
I love the "present, attentive mother" who showed up. She is there for us too, for those whose real life mothers could not be, for whatever reason.
Thank you for sharing this, Allison. Wishing you many moments of peace.
Great question from Erinn. Very interesting metaphysical (out of body) answer with great Spiritual significance by Allison. However, the most telling quote is, "the version of me that’s the one I’m most ashamed of (the critical, perfectionist, get shit done one).
First, never be ashamed of your critical, perfectionist, get shit done self. Constructive criticism, including honest self-criticism is a great way to learn. If nobody ever honestly criticizes you, you may never learn your weaknesses, or get an opportunity to correct them.
Everyone should seek perfection, even though it can never be achieved. We are created perfectly, imperfect for a reason. If we were perfect, we would never have an opportunity to grow and improve ourselves. Also, a perfectionist is very irritating to many apathetic people who just don't care to be the best they can be.
"Get shit done" is actually a positive in a world filled with negative "don't give a shit to do anything right" people. Your perceived "weaknesses" may actually be your God-given strengths, dear Allison. Please think about it. Be healthy, happy, successful, blessed, loved and safe always, child of God. - MRVERITAS.SUBSTACK.COM