Questions + Answers

From Mendy H.

Hi Allison,

I apologize for a not very deep or thought provoking question, but I'm always curious about what people's favorite smells/scents are. What are yours? By the way, when my friend met you (she had brain cancer; you were one of her very favorite people), I asked her what you smelled like. She said, "Very expensive leather. She smelled wonderful." :)

You also seem to have the same wild unruly curly hair that I have, only yours always looks So. Much. Better! What sort of shampoo/hair products do you recommend?

I'm sure I will come up with something deeper in the future, but sometimes a girl just wants to make her hair look nice.

Hope you are having a good week!

Mendy, who loves the smell of rain and the top of her Yorkie's head.

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Dear Mendy

Thank you for a great question. It doesn’t leave me wanting at all — I’m a girl’s girl in many ways and love to share a good tip of any kind.

I adore scent. I’ve had Covid once, and was so relieved that it didn’t relieve me of my sense of smell. I love all kinds of fragrance and all forms of it from expensive perfume to essential oils. Your sweet friend’s compliment makes me so happy — leather is one of my favorite scents.

I started wearing Fracas in my early thirties and did so consistently until this year. Though I do still like it very much and it still works with my body chemistry (and it’s also not something you smell on everyone), I started to want something earthier and more layered. I’ve tried several different perfumes and oils, and mixtures of several too, since then. I tried Beauty Pie’s sampler (inexpensive and very good scents but not very long lasting. I do like their Orange Eau de Toilette for an everyday splash, particularly in summer (keep it in the fridge. Also, make your own rose water and put some of that in a spray bottle in the fridge too for an instant refresh 😌 - it’s a great pick me up.) I tried Henry Rose’s sampler too. Some lovely scents, but again, not long lasting and more expensive than Beauty Pie. I then tried Perfumer H’s Moss, which I could bathe in, but you wouldn’t be able to tell after thirty minutes if I did, so I decided it wasn’t worth the money. Then I landed on Byredo and I think I’ve found a new classic. I’m currently mixing Super Cedar and No Man’s Land Rose. It feels right so I’m going with it, with my beloved, ever faithful Fracas standing in the wings.

Now. Hair!!!!

Yes, Mendy, you are correct. My hair has always been hard to handle. I have lamented its unruliness, its multiple personalities, its plentiful cowlicks for most of my life. Everyone always says “oh you’re so lucky to have that texture,” but maybe they never wanted smooth, silky, glossy, cool, waist length hair like I always have. So be it — I’ve finally accepted my curls and am embracing them wholeheartedly these days. And it’s thanking me by becoming seemingly wilder than ever. I’ve straightened it, curled it (differently than it wants to go, of course), colored it, bleached it, burned it, treatment-ed it, cut it, grown it, and I finally decided to step away from the hairdryer. As a result, it’s never been healthier or more alive. For shampoo, I’m currently using New Wash, which has been a game changer. My hair is super dry, and this is super moisturizing, as is their hair balm. The company claims you don’t need a separate conditioner, and while I find this to be almost true, I run a bit through my ends most times. I wet my hair usually every other day but only use the new wash every other time I do (so every 4th day) — I condition exclusively otherwise. I comb my hair through while I’m still in the shower, squeeze the water out, and apply Reverie’s leave in conditioner. I leave it sopping wet - no wrapping - and soak up the excess water with a towel from the bottom up (squeeze as you go). I then spray on Bumble and Bumble’s Thickening Spray to give it definition and calm the cowlicks. I let it air dry and start to loosen up the curls (that are very defined by that time) with my fingers or a wide toothed comb. If I want more definition I use a 1/2” barrel curling iron on the top layer. Then I use some sort of shine enhancing serum or try to get some of my beloved Kiehl’s Creme with Silk Groom out of the two almost squeezed dry containers of it that I have (they’ve apparently stopped making it and I want to screamWHY???). Sometimes I use some texturizing hairspray if I’m going somewhere. That’s all!

I think we need as much lightness as we can find in these times. I know we don’t need more downers. I don’t feel equipped to comment on this war, I only feel equipped to give compassion to each and every human being. I do that best when my spirit is as light as it can be. Life is hard enough without me being hard too.

Thank you, Mendy, for giving us an escape today. For those of you who don’t care about beauty tips, thank you for reading. It’s often complicated to be a woman, but now that I’ve been one for fifty-one years, things are starting to untangle, and I’m just getting started. I’m happy to share it all.

Have a fantastic weekend.

PEACE. LOVE.

Allison

PS - I’m off the crutches. I’m still hobbling around somewhat, but time will heal it. I’m taking it as easy as I can.

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