My Sunday List - Mother’s Day Edition
May 14, 2023
Quote
Honey, paper will lie still for anyone to write anything on it. It doesn’t have to be true.
—Laura Lee Smith, my grandmother (she’s on the right and 96.)
Song
Mama by LunchMoney Lewis
I watched
I’ve heard several people disparage this show as unrealistic. I don’t care — I know how the music business works already and don’t need those details to be 100% accurate to enjoy this show. The acting is great, the music is pretty great too, and at the end of the day, it’s a show about the creative process and the large-hearted people who are brave enough to embark on a life of embracing it. I’m enjoying it. Only 3 episodes in. I probably won’t read the book. And I haven’t returned to Shrinking.
Book
Pico Iyer’s The Half Known Life. Just started it — about halfway through. This writer, who I’ve long heard of for a while but never read before, has got me. I’m planning on working my way through his catalog.
The Lucinda Williams book is an enjoyable and educational read. Recommended.
Thing
My stone heart.
I collect heart-shaped objects. It’s one thing in a long list of things that my friend Libby and I have in common. I keep them on my altar, on the windowsill in the kitchen, and this one travels with me, so I always have something to hold that will remind me I’m not alone. It makes me feel loved. It makes me think of my mama. It fits perfectly in the palm of my hand, so that my fingers can wrap all the way around it and I can feel its energy.
Favorite Photo I Took This Week
This morning, Tulum, Quintana Roo, Mexico.
Prayer
Thank you, Great Spirit, for letting me notice, for letting me be open, for showing me what I need to see. Give me strength to take action when I need to, based on what you allow me to realize.
Intention for the week to come
May I be bold and brave enough to take the first step onto the path that is in front of me.
Something I’m thinking about:
Same as last week: Techniques to calm the activated mind. I mentioned on Wednesday that I’ve recently begun EMDR therapy. I am so interested in seeing what effect it has on me, and am grateful for the opportunity to try it. The idea of bringing my nervous system into balance is one I like very much — I’ve spent most of my life feeling like a halloween cat, and sometimes acting like one, and I’m tired. My body deserves a chance to rest, but it never will, not quite, if I continue to struggle with complex PTSD. My amygdala (the threat detector) aches from overuse.
HOPING.
Also, ancient religions and cultures (influenced by the Iyer book).
The importance and simultaneous insignificance of humankind.
What it means to be a mother. Mine happened to be a stone cold fox and a real badass. I miss her like crazy and sure do wish I had her to set me straight sometimes.
Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. — Buddha
Habit
Taking time to think. Just to sit and think.
Wishes
That I have a successful week managing my emotions and feeling balanced.
That I make some sort of decent art.
That I make progress in some work I’m trying to get done.
That you will forward this to one person and that person becomes a subscriber too.
Have a wonderful, peaceful, joyous week. And thank you for supporting my work here at The Autotelic.
Lots of love,
Allison
Daisy Jones (the book) was actually designed by my Susan (interior, not the cover)--We watched and loved (LOVED) the music. Storyline: predictable but I didn’t care. I was driven crazy by incorrect time stamps (late model guitars showing up way too early, yadda yadda) and anchors but still: we could not stop watching it. Riley Keough was phenomenal and because I’m slow on the uptake said “Hey, she looks so much like Elvis....” 🙄
Love your post--everything about it, as always. Your mother: what a stunning woman, and she is most certainly looking down and KVELLING ❤️
Dear Allison. My overactive mind, which often keeps me from healing sleep I sorely need, was filled with philosophical words about the amygdala. However, I decided perhaps I was being too pretentious this morning. So maybe this simple poem will answer any concerns you may have about love and being loved. I pray that the Lord gives you nothing but good days.
The Beatles were wrong when they sang:
"And in the end
The love you take
Is equal to the love you make."
Because:
"The truth in life is:
The love you get
may never equal
the love you give.
But you must never
cease to love. - MRVERITAS.SUBSTACK.COM