My Sunday List
September 22, 2024
Words
The core flaw of hyper-individualism is that it leads to a degradation and a pulverization of the human person. It is a system built upon the egoistic drives within each of us. These are the self-interested drives – the desire to excel; to make a mark in the world; to rise in wealth, power, and status; to win victories and be better than others. Hyper-individualism does not emphasize and eventually does not even see the other drives – the deeper and more elusive motivations that seek connection, fusion, service, and care. These are not the desires of the ego, but the longings of the heart and soul: the desire to live in loving interdependence with others, the yearning to live in service of some ideal, the yearning to surrender to a greater good. Hyper-individualism numbs these deepest longings. Eventually, hyper-individualism creates isolated, self-interested monads who sense that something is missing in their lives but cannot even name what it is.
—David Brooks, from “The Relationist Manifesto” from The Second Mountain
Music
In honor of JD Souther, who left us last week. Too many wonderful songs to choose one album, so I’ll link to my favorite. Besides his solo work, JD is connected to so much great, classic music – hit songs that are threads in the fabric of our lives. His own output was ambitious and kind of stubborn. And I get that. His departure leaves a giant hole in the roots music canon. That angel choir is getting really good, y’all.
I watched
I made it through the whole first season of A Discovery of Witches on Netflix, then I watched the first episode of season two and decided it wasn’t any longer for me. So I turned it off and now feel like watching Juliette Binoche and Meryl Streep movies. Some classic Sydney Pollack and Robert Redford. Cassavetes. Fall is busy – shoot, life is busy – but I’m planning on making this fall super cozy and restorative.
Book
I’ve been too scattered this week to read. My job keeps my eyes glued to words for most of the day, so maybe I need a rest from it at night. As always, I have a pile in every room. But they’re not going anywhere. I still haven’t begun All Fours.
Favorite moments
Presenting the Trailblazer Lifetime Achievement Award to my sister, Shelby Lynne, on Wednesday night. And then performing with her right after. It was a celebratory night. I’m so proud of her.
You can watch it here. Our portion begins around 2:54.
Interviewing Shelby on stage for a special songwriter session at the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum. It was a magical hour.
What I’m wearing
The way you do anything is the way you do everything.
Poem: there will be challenges
unwanted moments
unexpected heartache
unforeseen difficulties
times when you have no other option
but to face the chaos
life will ask you to stand tall and grow
even when you are tired
and in these moments of expansion,
you will see
that you are more than a match
for what scares you
you are stronger than you imagined
(yung pueblo)
I’m grateful for
the feeling of home I’m beginning to feel in my heart
the opportunity to do good work.
The best and coolest sister.
Books. Music.
Relationships.
A group of badass women I’m lucky to call my friends.
What I made
Yesterday was a full day. In fact, it’s been a full few weeks and the coming one is a little crazy too. By the way, if you haven’t gotten your tickets to the show at The Ryman Auditorium Sept 26, here’s a link. Anyway, after we did our event at the museum yesterday morning, we had a two-hour break then went to rehearsal. After all that, I decided to come home and get in bed, from where I made a drawing, which felt great.
Here’s a Sam Callaway gallery.
What brought me joy
The first sip of a fantastic cup of coffee in the morning + feeling my energy start to lift + seeing my sister shine and accept some well-deserved praise + feeling the incredibly supportive bonds of friendship with my women + doing yoga and seeking solitude and quiet when I can + slow Sunday mornings.
Prayer
Thank you, Great Spirit, for the life you put in me. Thank you for the blessing of this experience. Please give me the strength to turn all things over to you and the faith to know you will work miracles in me through whatever you place in my blessed path. Allow me to gracefully release what is not meant for me, and to hold tightly and lovingly to what is. Allow me clarity, focus, and courage. Allow me to rise to my highest vibration each day. With deep gratitude I pray that your will, and not mine, shall be done.
Intention for the week to come
May I be present and fully inhabit my mind, spirit, and physical body.
May I walk through the world with an open heart and without judgment.
May I be curious and ask questions before I decide.
May I breathe peace in, and breathe love out.
May I be humble.
May I have the self-possession and grace to meet others with kindness and acceptance.
May I find the flexibility in myself to gracefully accept the imperfections of life and not take inconveniences personally.
May I think before I speak.
May I think MORE than I speak.
May I be grateful for what I have and may I not seek more for my selfish gain.
May I allow myself to trust.
May I have CLARITY and find a way to be CALM about it.
May I be patient.
May my vibration resonate in harmony with the universe.
May I remember it isn’t about me.
May I do good work.
May I have optimism and positive thoughts.
May I be open to what the Great Spirit knows is for me, and may I walk my path accordingly by remembering I can only take it one step at a time.
Something I’m thinking about
Why everyone seems so surprised that Dave Grohl is a shitbag.
Any musician with any modicum of success has the opportunity to be unfaithful every day of his life. A good portion of them wholeheartedly take advantage of those opportunities.
Yep. I said it.
And I’ll go a step further and say that smartphones and dating apps and social media have made it possible for everyone – not just people who travel – to have a double life.
And many people do.
Yep. I said that too.
If people want to know why the family is really falling apart, and why people are leaving long-term relationships in droves, maybe we should look at how the access social media and smartphones give us has really affected us. I mean, think about it – would most people want to have to trouble themselves to be nice and thoughtful to their spouse so they have a happy home life when they have porn at their fingertips and can escape it all with a woman who needs nothing and doesn’t even have trash, much less need him to take it out? People need to wake up to the underbelly of all the convenience. Availability is just not sexy anymore. It never was. Elegance is refusal. Mystery is attractive. We need to be aiming higher as a society than we are. Am I the only one who feels like things have just gotten gross? Where are our standards? Have we ever had any?
Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. — Buddha
Favorite photo of the week
Habit
I’ve moved on from Cinnamon Toast Crunch to a mixture of Purely Elizabeth Ancient Grains granola and sea salt almonds. I eat it on my yogurt in the morning as well. I just haven’t felt like sitting down for meals lately. Just grazing. Out to pasture. Whatever. It’s a season!
Wishes
That we all are and will be well.
That we all are loved.
That we all put our pasts behind us every minute.
That we all have a glorious and fulfilling week.
That you will forward this to one person you think might like it.
Have a wonderful, peaceful, joyous week. And thank you for supporting my work here at The Autotelic.
Peace. Love.
Allison
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The Grohl thing - All of that. I’m 49, successful, happy & single. Tried online dating for 2 months. Ick. Deleted the apps, never to return.
You’re onto something about the instant gratification at fingertips. I’d rather be home with my precious dog, he never lets me down, makes me laugh & is a source of joy.
I’ll be there on 9/26 at the Ryman. I’m so excited about it I’m practically vibrating when I think about seeing the SL show.
Allison, I just enjoyed every word on this page. Lifted my heart in all the right ways. Lots of TRUTH, and it’s nice hear. A million cuts that are hard to forget, but I keep trying so that I might find forgiveness of another for my sake. I’m getting there.
I had to look up monad… perfect word.
As I’ve said many times, you have the most beautiful speaking voice. I so enjoyed the words you spoke to honor Shelby. All true. All real. “She sings our silences” she surely has sung mine. Carried me through a lot of tough times. As you penned on your art, It’s been dark a long time but it’s looking brighter “ beautiful art work. Particularly detailed.
Sam is precious and I love to read how taken you are with him. I love the picture of him where the sunlight touches the tip of his ear.
Maybe an ink and watercolor coming ?
Shelby’s acceptance speech was great. So Shelby. What you see is what you get. I love her.
I’m happy for you Allison, and Shelby too. More than I can say. It’s all coming together.
Can’t wait for you to share some nesting pics of your fall home. Like the word Trust on the wall. That’s what it’s all about.
Btw, I thought your outfit was perfect. As was Shelby’s.
I feel so good after reading your post today.
xo ❤️