My Sunday List
June 16, 2024
Words
I’ve come to believe that wise people don’t tell us what to do; they start by witnessing our story. They take the anecdotes, rationalizations, and episodes we tell, and see us in a noble struggle. They see the way we’re navigating the dialectics of life–intimacy versus independence, control versus uncertainty–and understand that our current self is just where we are right now, part of a long, continuum of growth.
and one more
Understanding and wisdom come from surviving the pitfalls of life, thriving in life, having wide and deep contact with other people. Out of your own moments of suffering, struggle, friendship, intimacy, and joy comes a compassionate awareness of how other people feel—their frailty, their confusion, and their courage. The wise are those who have lived full, varied lives, and reflected deeply on what they’ve been through.
Both from How to Know a Person, David Brooks
Music
I heard Shawn Camp absolutely smoke this song last night at The Bluebird Cafe. I’ve known Shawn since I was about eighteen, I think, and he’s always been very, very good. But these days, he personifies mastery. He and Guy Clark wrote this song and apparently others about the legendary Sis Draper. I’m gonna send it up to the stars that he releases an EP of them soon.
Here’s a video of Shawn from Appalachia Sessions Live
I watched
John Henry and I went to see Inside Out 2 yesterday. He has always enjoyed the first Inside Out, and he’s grown so much that going to the movies is something we can do! That might sound unusual, and it is—because of John Henry’s autism, there were many barriers to a peaceful cinema experience. I’m so grateful that we can share this activity now—of course, the movie must be something he’s into. And that makes him different from exactly no one—don’t we all dislike seeing things we’re not into?
Everyone in our group of folks quite enjoyed the movie. It’s a brilliant concept (personifying emotions) and they’ve made it even more so by introducing new ones in the sequel that start to show up along with puberty. I feel like it might help pre-teens and teenagers give names to what they feel. No one ever described the way I felt during those years as anxiety—but that’s exactly what I had, in an extreme form. I feel anxiety in my son too. Most of my friends’ children struggle with it as well. I’m happy this generation is growing up with language for emotional states and that the lucky ones are being taught that they don’t last forever, that it’s okay to feel a thing and also okay to let it pass, because most intense feelings blow away when the wind changes.
Book
Still reading Lives of the Wives.
Behind more than a few great writers is a great first reader, editor, confidante, caretaker, protector of time and solitude, cook, maid, laundress, nurse, consigliere, and devoted admirer. People are so complicated, and I love reading about it all — I’m enjoying this book.
I’ve also started another book—When You’re Ready, This is How You Heal, by Brianna Wiest. I will report.
Favorite moments
The songwriter’s round at the Bluebird last night. I’m so happy I live in this tremendously gifted community.
Going to the movies with John Henry.
Walking outside in the morning to cool air earlier this week. Now it’s gone, gone, gone and we’re headed into what I call oven days.
Being present at my work and loving the feeling of dropping down into my center and focusing.
What I’m wearing
Layers to deal with the heat outside and the air conditioning inside. I purchased a few simple, light suits for the warm weather months and I’m so glad I did. Some mornings, putting things together feels like too much of a task. My mantra: simple is best.
What I’m cooking
Honestly, I don’t really remember. One of the things I have to stay on top of during the summer when John Henry is home is keeping the refrigerator stocked with all of his favorites, and it brings me joy to do so, but it doesn’t leave a lot of time for creativity or deviation from the usuals. I’m happy I can get my teenager to eat anything at all that I cook—some don’t have it as easy!
Favorite Photo I Took This Week
I have this thing about seeing single shoes on the street. It fascinates me so much I have an inner dialogue about it.
Where is the other one? Is someone walking around with only one shoe? How does someone lose one shoe? How did that happen? Did it fall out of a car? Do they know they don’t have but one shoe with them? Did they throw the other one away?
It’s a thing. I never understood how it could happen. How do you not notice? Then last summer while John Henry and I were in Colorado we almost became one shoe people. He got in the car and somehow his Croc fell off his foot and I didn’t notice until I closed the passenger side door. And then I got it — here’s how it happens! Someone got overwhelmed with things or thoughts or movements. Also—shit happens. Things get lost. We drop things we don’t mean to drop. People are imperfect. Lord knows I am. These days when I see a single shoe I know I’m a sister in the struggle to keep it all together.
I’m grateful for
Today, I’m grateful for my father. He wasn’t perfect, in fact, he was very far from it. He did unforgivable things and caused, through his insurmountable pain, chaos and destruction. But through loving him, I’ve been able to find more empathy, compassion, and understanding of others.
It took a long time to get there—for a so long it was through loving him that I learned those things are dangerous and that I should always guard myself against opening to someone who might hurt me. But I’ve realized that everyone is that someone, and my choice is to live life protected and unloved, or risk being hurt by a person to whom I extend myself that also might be able to meet me where I am. It’s a hard thing to stay inside of when the instinct is to always close myself off and ensure I stay misunderstood and distant. Little by little, I’ve grown enough to understand what a mighty struggle my father was fighting and why he felt like he wouldn’t and couldn’t prevail against his inner enemies. Love and Peace to him on Father’s Day.
What I made
Something wonderful I noticed
Human frailty. Whether it be emotional, spiritual, physical, or every kind under the sun, we all have plenty of it. Everyone really is fighting a battle we can’t see. I’m fighting one I’ll never tell you about. You’re fighting one you wish you weren’t too.
A lot of good can come out of internalizing that and acting accordingly—not to prove how good, compassionate, and empathetic I am, but to fully accept that I must join the human race and be imperfect along with everyone else. To do that I have to muster up some love and forgiveness for myself when I’m faced with my frailties. Only then can I really forgive another’s.
What brought me joy
Summertime and all its splendor.
Music, music, and more music.
Reading, reading, and more reading.
Knowing the future is what I make it, and knowing that change is the only constant. That used to freak me out—how can I trust in the future if I can’t see it? I must control it! Ha.
Now I see that it’s a faith thing. I don’t need all of the information about everything in order to be safe, I only need to know that I can deal with whatever comes my way when it does. Breathe and let it go. Next. That feels a lot better than worrying about what’s in store. All I can be sure of is that I know something is. This side of fifty feels like I can keep going no matter what. How I deal with what comes is my choice. That makes me feel so alive.
Prayer
Thank you, Great Spirit, for the life you put in me. Thank you for the blessing of this experience. Please give me the strength to turn all things over to you and the faith to know you will work miracles in me through whatever you place in my blessed path. Allow me to release what is not meant for me, and to hold tightly to what is. Allow me clarity, focus, and courage. Allow me to rise to my highest vibration. With deep gratitude I pray.
Intention for the week to come
May I be present and fully inhabit my mind, spirit, and physical body.
May I breathe peace in, and breathe love out.
May I have the self-possession and grace to meet others with kindness and acceptance.
May I find the flexibility in myself to gracefully accept the imperfections of life.
May I think before I speak.
May I think more than I speak.
May I be grateful.
May I allow myself to trust.
May I have CLARITY.
May I be patient.
May I be open to what the Great Spirit knows is for me, and may I walk my path accordingly by remembering I can only take it one step at the time.
Something I’m thinking about
The words to put language to what I would like for my life’s principles to be.
So far I’ve written down these: patience, truth, empathy, compassion, aspirational habits, intelligence, grace, prudence, creativity, beauty, knowledge, curiosity, efficiency, simplicity, openness, independence, and LOVE.
Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. — Buddha
Habit
5:15 wake-up. Coffee. Read a little. Prayers. Yoga. Prayers. Prayers. Prayers.
Best Word or Term
Jayus (Indonesian):
A lame joke that nonetheless elicits good-natured amusement—rather than irritation—at its sheer innocent silliness. The ability to treat an idiotic remark as a Jayus is a sign of wisdom and kindness; evidence that we can accept that our minds are low as well as high.
—From the School of Life’s Untranslatable Words box.
Wishes
That we all are and will be well.
That we all are loved.
That we all put our pasts behind us every minute.
That you will forward this to one person you think might like it.
Have a wonderful, peaceful, joyous week. And thank you for supporting my work here at The Autotelic.
Peace. Love.
Allison
There are first edition copies of I Dream He Talks to Me and Blood in the shop. I will sign each copy that is ordered. If you would like it personalized, please send an email with your order number and the name you would like on the signature page to allisonmoorercontact@gmail.com.
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I always wonder about the other shoe!
A wonderful writer is having a book launch party Thursday, June 27 @collective615, in Nashville. Wish I was closer! I would love to support Claire Coenen. The title of the book The Beautiful Keeps Breathing.
I enjoy your writings and the way you go about living. Have a great summer with your son. 🌸💕🌸💕🌸