My Sunday List
July 09, 2023
Quote
It’s like your dreaming mind is throwing out images for you to catch.—Frances Mayes, from Women in Sunlight
Song
No song this week, I just want to say that I’ve mostly been listening to jazz classics. I’ve been painting a lot, and I like to listen to music without lyrics while I do it. Painting helps me think, and if I’m hearing words, I’m guided toward something to which music alone doesn’t send me. There are several great jazz classics playlists out there on Spotify, Apple Music — all of those things — pick your poison.
I watched
I didn’t do a lot of screen watching this week, but H. and I watched You Hurt My Feelings last night. We hadn’t heard much about it, but it had a good rotten tomatoes rating and Julia Louis-Dreyfus has good standards. The script resonated — where is the line between being supportive and loving to your partner and wanting them to know you believe in them, and lying about work you might not think is their best? Where is the line between cheerleading and championing our children and enabling and crippling them with all of our you’re perfect and therefore deserve all of the exceptions talk? I don’t think we’ll ever know, and rigorous honesty is so damned hard. Is it worth it? I don’t know if I don’t maybe need my husband to lie to me a little bit. Doesn’t the world tell us enough cold, hard truth? Good questions to ask.
Book
Women in Sunlight by Frances Mayes. This book is delightful. The novels I’ve read have been mostly by male writers, so I’m diving into the feminine fiction voice. I’m calling it research, but so far I’m thoroughly enjoying it and it doesn’t feel like work at all. Mayes writes sumptuously and generously. I’m in love with every character and am already slowing down because I don’t want it to end.
Thing
Favorite Photo I Took This Week
Prayer
Same as last week, as we’ll all be on the move again.
Thank you, Great Spirit, for the blessings you allow my family and me. Please keep your hand on us as we travel this week and allow us joyous adventures and safe landings.
Intention for the week to come
May I stay balanced and in tune with my needs so that I can meet life’s challenges with hard-earned skill and grace.
Something I’m thinking about:
Allowing the mysticism of astrological birth charts. I just had one done for the first time, believe it or not. It’s amazing how spot on it is, not in a here are the traits for your sign way, but in a way that feels too specific not to be specific, if that makes sense. For instance:
Pluto Trine MC
MC in Taurus symbolism
Seeks career that provides stability and dependability
Seeks outlet for creativity that unfolds in an unhurried and grounded way
Pluto works in deep ways; similarly, your work draws energy from that deep place. You’re not interested in shallow work, nor are you interested in sharing weekend golfing stories around the water-cooler. You want to dive deep into the psyche, and remerge with meaningful insights. You're here to seek truth and affect meaningful change in yourself and others.
The part about the work ⬆️ made me pause. Also the part about the seeking truth.
Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. — Buddha
Habit
Yoga.
I’m grateful I’ve found a way to commit myself to a disciplined practice during this period of my life. I’ve never felt more connected to my physical body, and that achievement is such an important part of the healing process for me. I’ve spent most of my life dissociated from myself — that increased the amount of stress I was able to tolerate, but it all added up and ultimately left me empty. It feels like I’m slowly rebuilding myself from someone who ran ragged all the time on hardly any fuel, to someone who is in tune with what is needed and isn’t afraid to nurture herself right along with the rest of the family. It feels like a state of maturity I haven’t been able to reach before. Taking care of myself requires that I be a real grown up who knows what the consequences are for cheating myself in any category — sleep, time, nutrition, exercise, social life, marriage — none of us have room for all of that every day, but maybe the thing about arriving here is that I can see how moderation works too. So I’m showing up for myself and my physical body by making sure it stays flexible enough to dodge whatever’s coming at it next.
Some NEW paid subscriber benefits:
Access to the chat feature on the Substack app.
Paid subscriber only Saturday posts.
A discount code to use in the shop for 24 hours when I put new paintings up. And other discounts for the shop (AM merch is coming soon)!
Free subscriptions to give away.
Wishes
That I find ways to bring joy and beauty to every day and don’t allow my body to accumulate stress.
That I take good care of my son, nurture my family and home, make good art, and keep myself clear of negative emotions.
That I meet others with love, even when I know I’m dealing with their trauma and not the real them, particularly while I’m in airports. (Great Spirit, please help breathe me in airports).
That you will forward this to one person and that person becomes a subscriber too.
Have a wonderful, peaceful, joyous week. And thank you for supporting my work here at The Autotelic.
Lots of love,
Allison
I’m always amazed that you have so many interesting and meaningful things to say every week. Along with your many hobbies and pursuits, you have such keen observations to share. You’re an inspiring Renaissance woman in the true sense of the word!
Winnie seems to have matured quite a bit. I don’t think “patience” was the adjective you would have used when she was a puppy--lol.
Have you read Sue Monk Kidd’s - When the heart Waits? I read that 10 years ago. I am 64 (almost) now. It was timely for me then. Recommend highly ❤️