My Sunday List
March 24, 2024
Words
The everyday mystics I grew up with had knapsacks full of spiritual gifts. They could conjure in the kitchen, offer blessed assurance, and braid hair. An aunt or a grandma could shake the dirt from a bunch of beets and transform it into a dish that took you to heaven, even when you don’t like beets. The elders knew how to cure you of your ailments…. The mystics I knew could get a prayer through. They could birth babies and they could bring you messages from the other side. —Richard Rohr, from his daily meditation, March 19
This really rang true with me. Though we went to church and Sunday school here and there, my real church took place at my Nanny’s (my maternal grandmother’s) kitchen table. Her family was large and most of them lived close by, so when I was at her house, there was always a revolving cast of colorful characters coming in and out that were full of opinions and everyday expertise on how to live. They weren’t big on talking about what messages they received from the other side, but I know they could get prayers through at least sometimes and the running theme was trust in the Lord. Always trust in the Lord. Nothing but Christianity was ever mentioned. I’m one of the handful of people in my family that hasn’t taken the plunge into confirming their Christianity, and I will most likely never declare myself anything, but I’m grateful for those faith-based, early teachings. Without it, I wouldn’t have been so curious about what other perspectives there might be in other places and people.
Song
This whole thing. The beginnings of recorded music sound so fresh.
I watched
I watched the new Frida Kahlo documentary on Amazon Prime. It’s a beautiful production and quite informative. I enjoyed it and I think y’all would too. If you do and want to know more, I suggest you take a deeper dive and watch the PBS one.
Book
I’ve spent the week with How to be Old by Lyn Slater. I’m not quite finished with it, but close. I haven’t figured it out yet — it’s a memoir of her journey from college professor to social media star Accidental Icon, and how the experience sort of turned on her. At times the language is vague and the text feels disjointed and lacking connective tissue, which is often a reflection of the writer’s reticence, to which I say, why are you working in non-fiction, then? Memoir can’t be coy if it’s going to work. That doesn’t mean one has to tell everything, but it does mean that skimming over and leaving things unsaid isn’t a recommended route to hooking a reader unless you’re aiming for a shallow audience. I catch myself thinking “tell me more” while I’m reading — maybe that’s by design. It certainly is an enjoyable read and I like Slater a lot. She just seems uneasy with the whole thing. More on this next week.
Favorite moments
It was a rich and soul-filling week. I spent some much needed time in solitude and also some much needed time with close friends.
Making Italian wedding soup with fresh meatballs and Rancho Gordo beans for some close friends on a cold night.
Seeing my friend Mary for supper.
Working in the studio with Kenny.
Spending an afternoon messing around with my sister. We went to the salvage store, the mall, to get a mani/pedi — I’m so glad we live in the same place these days. She’s fun.
Driving down to Birmingham for lunch with my BFF of all time.
I am so grateful for my relationships.
What I’m wearing
Well, I went to my clothing racks the other day all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed to edit, edit, edit. But once I got in there, I realized something. My wardrobe is made of pieces I’ve collected my whole adult life. It is, at this point, full of things I actually don’t want to let go of. Though I did weed out a little, I ended up realizing that clothes are a big deal to me and I’m not yet ready to be minimalist in that area of my life. I might not ever be ready for that. So, I asked myself who I am hurting by not paring down “enough,” and also, what is enough? I think the line for me comes with brain space. If I’m overwhelmed by my collection of clothes, then yes, I should fix that. If I’m not, there’s nothing to worry about as long as they’re not a detriment to anyone else.
We get told we need to do this, do that, live this way, live like ME and all your problems will melt away — but it’s all created by industries that want to sell us things. Clean out your closet so you’ll have more room for more things you don’t need, which we will sell you for cheap and in bulk once you feel that sense of lack and want for fullness creeping up your spine. And we’ll make sure it does by inundating you with messages that your life is bad because you don’t have enough stuff.
Yuck. Instead of cleaning out, a buying freeze might be the best route.
What I’m cooking
I made the aforementioned Italian wedding soup. I used these beans, which were incredible in it (I used the quick soak method to prepare them). I usually use canned white beans because I’m not big on planning ahead most days, but this time I did and it made a significant difference in the end product.
Favorite Photo I Took This Week
I’m grateful for
Personal growth and evolution. Clarity. Music. Books. Visual art. The artists crazy enough to take a chance on making music and writing books and painting paintings that inspired me to do the same. Home. Family. Friends. Flowers.
What I made
Music. Appointments. Travel plans. Staying home plans. Soup. Notes. Messes. Wishes.
I’m planning on working a series of mushroom paintings soon. I also feel like doing a serenity prayer series.
Something wonderful I noticed
How just tilting a chair in approximately 40 degrees can make a room feel 80 percent cozier.
What brought me joy
Solitude and also being with others.
Sleeping in a little later than usual.
A fire in the fireplace in the evening.
Prayer
Thank you, Great Spirit, for giving me the strength to let go of everything I cannot control, which is everything outside of myself.
Intention for the week to come
May I be present before I am concerned with being anything else.
May I breathe peace in, and breathe love out.
May I meet others with kindness and acceptance and still keep my boundaries.
May I feel confident enough in those boundaries to be flexible in my actions.
May I use my words for good.
May I be grateful.
May I trust.
May I have CLARITY.
May I be patient.
May I be open to what the Great Spirit knows is for me, and may I walk my path accordingly by remembering I can only take it one step at the time.
Something I’m thinking about
It’s hard to pick one thing — I’ve been thinking about a lot of different things. A running theme these days is excellence — what it is, how I want to and might be able to pursue it, and what it takes to do so.
Elegance is refusal. —Coco Chanel
Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. — Buddha
Habit
Redirecting thoughts.
Best Word or Term
Daedalian: Ingeniously or cunningly designed; artistic, ingenious, intricate. Difficult to comprehend due to complexity or intricacy.
Can a design be both simple and daedalian?
Wishes
That I recognize every opportunity to feel joy, and that I take each one.
That my fellow creatures do that too.
That you all are content and well.
That you will forward this to one person you think might like it.
Have a wonderful, peaceful, joyous week. And thank you for supporting my work here at The Autotelic.
Peace. Love.
Allison
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Lovely words as always, Allison.
I’m also getting the same feeling from Lyn Slater’s book. I adore her and know that she describes herself as “shy.” In memoir however, I am hungry for vulnerability and marrow level writing. As I attempt to write my own collection of personal essays, I find it terrifying to go beneath a certain safety line. Reading this book is teaching me something about how we approach truth and the stories we want to edit.