My Sunday List
January 7, 2024
Quote
Listening stitches the world together. Because listening is the doorway to everything that matters. It enlivens the heart the way breathing enlivens the lungs. We listen to awaken our heart. We do this to stay vital and alive. —Mark Nepo, from Seven Thousand Ways to Listen
Song
I’m throwing it back to Every Breath You Take by The Police. I listened to it the other day after my sister sent me another song by the band, and then I went down a wormhole. Those recordings made in their heyday are so good, clean, crisp yet warm, and the production was genius — as in let a great band be a great band. But this particular song — this is the one that set me on fire when I was ten or eleven years old. I heard it through the clock radio I’d gotten for Christmas and (I wrote about this in Blood) the passing seventh chord in the bridge (right before the lyric “you belong to me”) showed me the link between the worlds of my parents’ country music and the rock ‘n roll and pop I was being drawn to. And there was something about the straightforwardness of the lyric that helped that too. It was plaintive, structurally watertight, like a Hank Williams song. I’ll never not be amazed by it. I liked Faith Evans’/Puffy’s version too.
I watched
I began a Netflix series last night called Fool Me Once. I was just in the mood for something like that I guess, not my usual fare, but I am intrigued by the first episode so I’m going to keep going. I will report back.
Book
The quote of the week at the top of the page is from Seven Thousand Ways to Listen, by Mark Nepo. I have used his Book of Awakening during my morning devotional practices for years, and he writes in such a smooth and compassionate way, I want to read anything he does. When I began his new volume just before the end of the year, I knew it was for me. I’m only on page 22, but I haven’t marked up a book this way since I was getting an MFA in graduate school. So I highly recommend it to anyone who’s seeking more depth of any kind. There are questions and prompts at the end of each chapter for an even deeper experience.
Thing
I’ve been leaning heavily on my Kolo notebooks. They’re so handsome and the paper is so wonderful. I’ve got three going now, but I’m not going to keep doing that — multimedia all the way!
What I’m wearing
The holidays took me to a few different climates, so I’ve been working with layers a lot. I tend to do that anyway — but this season demands it especially. Christmas was mild in Tennessee, and on the 26th everyone headed toward warm climates — John Henry to the Bahamas, and H and I went on a 4-night cruise with his family. We landed back on solid ground on Dec 31st and flew to Florida, where we met a house full of friends at a beach house in which to spend New Year’s Eve and Day. I did all of that in a carryon and tote, I’m proud to say, but I did trip over my bag a few times because the duffle was often not weighted properly to sit on top of my roller bag. But I digress. Items included: leather pants, slim sweaters, a black Dior tux jacket I scored on The Real Real to wear with almost everything, a few swimsuits, loose pants, a few sleeveless dresses that work with sweaters under or over them, 3 skirts, tank tops and tees in black and white, jewelry and scarves (a great way to change a look when you’re unwilling to check a bag for a week-long trip) a huge wrap from Janessa Leone that H gave me for Christmas (it doubles as a blanket). I probably overpacked, but I get better and better at paring down. This year will probably see me doing major cleanouts of everything, including my beloved wardrobe.
What I’m cooking
H and I were in Trader Joe’s the other day and I asked him what he might want for dinner and he replied, “Can you do Au Poivre?” I said, I’ve never done it, but I’ve had it, and I bet I can do it. I picked up a few filet mignon and a package of white mushrooms. A little later that evening, I made my first Steak Au Poivre. Butter, shallot, crème fraiche, chicken stock, cast iron, good knives, my beautiful gas range et voila. It was delicious if I do say so myself. I found the recipe on the New York Times cooking app, which I’ve bragged on several times here. It’s pricey (39.99 a year) but I use it so much and it’s so consistently reliable, it’s worth it to me. Plus, that’s about what a good meal costs these days even when you do your own cooking. I don’t mind paying for expertise from the likes of Melissa Clarke — she is brilliant.
Favorite Photo I Took This Week
Where I went
I just got home on Tuesday and am writing this to you from a hotel in Colorado because I left town again yesterday. That’s how it’s been lately. That’s how it’s going to be for a little while longer too, but settling down in one spot sounds like what I’d like to do.
What I did
I did the holidays. I read. I sketched and painted. I loved on my son and did my best to give him a magical and peaceful Christmas. I wrapped gifts! Sister and I made chicken enchiladas for Christmas Eve and that was perfect (again, NY Times Cooking app. I spent time with H’s family and we spent time with friends. It was a good break and I’m enjoying easing in to 2024.
What I made
Progress on the ever-evolving novel that lives in my head. I even got out the notebook in which I started taking notes about it that I put on the shelf when I called myself out for getting ready to lose myself in a fantasy world for a few years. I honestly thought I might’ve put it away for good. That I didn’t tells me what I need to know. Only the heart can make decisions that reflect what is authentic. Our brains are the best little helpers — they’re always on the lookout to organize what’s happening into some box we created to put painful experiences in years ago. It wants us to always compare the present to the past. That’s a survival skill that we all possess, but I want to learn to acknowledge it as what it is, only a helper, but not anywhere close to the seat of truth. My mind has gotten me in so much trouble that when I think of the things I’ve done that had nothing to do with following my heart, I’m flabbergasted. I lost trust in my heart a long time ago. I’m working hard on getting it back now.
I made sketches and paintings, I worked on the black leather collar some more and added some silk chiffon and velvet ribbons for texture and interesting lengths.
Something wonderful I noticed
How good it feels to have control of my emotions when I managed to be in control of them. One breath at the time, right?
Amen.
What brought me joy
Being around a portion of my beloved community of women this week. I am so blessed to be so well loved and held up by them and their wisdom, grace, empathy, and patience.
Prayer
Thank you, Great Spirit, for giving me the strength to let go of everything I cannot control, which is everything outside of myself.
Intention for the week to come
May I be present before I am concerned with being anything else.
May I meet others with kindness and acceptance.
May I feel confident enough to be flexible.
May I be grateful for my blessings.
May I be open to opportunities.
Something I’m thinking about
Decluttering. Getting down to what is essential even through knowing that I am a collector by nature. Figuring out how to be what I naturally am but with even more discernment and discipline. Saying no to nostalgia for the sake of nostalgia. In fact, I don’t think I like much less than nostalgia for the sake of nostalgia. Lightening up and refreshing allows movement and flexibility. The maximum amount of that sounds great to me.
Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. — Buddha
Habit
Taking a sketchbook with me wherever I go — even to bed — and using it for all things. I like the idea of keeping a journal like Frida Kahlo’s — my paintings, words, tarot pulls, and thoughts aren’t separate from each other, so why shouldn’t they all live together in one notebook at the time?
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Wishes
That I recognize every opportunity to feel joy, and that I take each one.
That my fellow creatures do that too.
That you all are content and well.
That you will forward this to one person you think might like it.
These pieces are available in the Autotelic Shop. I’m sorry to say I cannot offer international shipping.
Have a wonderful, peaceful, joyous week. And thank you for supporting my work here at The Autotelic.
Peace. Love.
Allison
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I wait for your Sunday list Allison cuz I always need to hear what you say
So much good stuff! I’m getting that book. I need a new devotional. I did just that this week and weekend..declutterred , even some nostalgic collectables. I m working thru the house and I’m almost done. It just feels sooo much better..it’s my dad’s stuff. It was hard to do. I kept a few things, that I’ll display.