Words
A man who has no honest advisors will not be honest with himself.
—I can’t remember where I found this, and when I wrote it in my notebook I didn’t attribute it to anyone or anything. But it hit me hard. Not the man part — we can exchange that word for person, as this isn’t a trait only men possess — but the advisor part. I think it’s a good idea every now and then to check and make sure your ego isn’t running amok, and a good way to do that is by making sure you’ve got some truth tellers around you. Not everyone will be one, In fact, few people will be one.
Music
Mac Miller. Circles. My sister turned me on to this record when it came out in 2020 and it’s been a go-to since. Such a vibe — relaxed and smart. It’s a shame Miller passed so young. He was really special and I am grateful he found a way to bring at least some of the music in him to fruition. We’ve lost too many bright lights too early in their lives to the disease of addiction.
I know I’ve put this record in this space before. It’ll probably show up again.
Why don’t we do something fun this week and y’all tell me what you’ve been listening to in the comments? I love being a music fan as well as a music maker.
I watched
I’m about halfway through the Anita Pallenberg documentary — here’s a great piece on it from Vogue. I have a lot of thoughts on influence and the passing on of references from one person to another — sharing is the essence of human intimacy in my opinion. I also have a lot of thoughts about what it is to be influential — the responsibility and the weight of it.
Ms. Pallenberg was truly a muse: a person or personified force who is the source of inspiration for a creative artist. Inspiration isn’t free. Sometimes there’s a high cost to pay for being a person who can distill things down to their essence, reveal the center, and also reveal the path. And I feel like there was a brilliant part of Anita Pallenberg that lived in that place.
Book
I spent the week with the approximately five-hundred-page Cocaine and Rhinestones: A History of George Jones and Tammy Wynette and loved every second of it. Tyler Mahan Coe is a gift to Country Music.
I’m excited to tell you that this fall we will be doing a book event with Tyler at The Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum, and I‘m honored to say I’ve been asked to host. I’ll post a link when it is publicly announced. Check out Tyler’s podcast here. Check out a starred Kirkus review of the book here.
Favorite moments
When I realized I’d made a new habit — instead of reaching outside of myself for something to fill me, I’m learning to remember I might just need to talk to God.
Getting a new washer and dryer. No more washing machine walking into the hallway! No more turning the dryer knob with a pair of needle-nosed pliers. I think I did that for a couple of years.
Just now realizing that it’s sometimes ridiculous what we will allow for ourselves before we finally change it.
Getting excited about the process of change.
What I’m wearing
Same old same old. It’s high summer and therefore not that inspiring to me, but I continue to keep trying to make it interesting and fun.
What I’m cooking
Whatever I don’t have to cook. Tomatoes, peaches, cherries, cheeses, nuts, berries, apples, popsicles (John Henry knows what’s up), tangerines, strawberries. No need to turn on the oven when it’s ninety-degrees outside.
Favorite Photo I Took This Week
I didn’t take it. Sis did. This is her really-badly-behaved new dog, Cleo. She was a stray puppy living out of dumpsters with her mother and brother and she’s still developing, let’s say, some boundaries. She is also the sweetest thing and we love her fiercely. But I have to keep a spray bottle handy when she’s here because she aggravates my two. Winnie gets fed up and puts her in her place, and Willie is just offended at it all and prefers to stay buried under the blankets. But he’s also ripped her a new one. All part of being a young dog. She’s delightful.
I’m grateful for
My incredible life and the gift of this experience. All of it. Sometimes I zoom out and say to myself, wow.
Cool people. Smart people. Compassionate people.
The ability to read. Some of my best memories stem from losing myself inside a book and feeling safe there. PS I’m falling back in love with the idea for the novel and am feeling drawn there again. We’ll see what happens.
The growing permission to see life as a practice, not a perfect, and to perceive myself and therefore treat myself more compassionately and gracefully.
My relationship with the Great Spirit.
What I made
Progress. A deeper relationship with myself. I didn’t make much art at all and I don’t like that. But I did write a verse and a chorus to a song one evening. That felt good.
Something wonderful I noticed
How important our rituals are. Mine help me stay grounded and connected to myself. Lighting candles and incense, sitting cross-legged and quietly, my skincare routine, fresh sheets, bedtime herbal tea, making more space for myself, little by little.
What brought me joy
Houseplants. My son’s happiness. A hard rain yesterday afternoon.
Seeing a full house turn up for Terry and Jo Harvey Allen yesterday at the museum. Damn, they’re cool. They’ve been married sixty-two years. That’s their art too, isn’t it?
Prayer
Thank you, Great Spirit, for the life you put in me. Thank you for the blessing of this experience. Please give me the strength to turn all things over to you and the faith to know you will work miracles in me through whatever you place in my blessed path. Allow me to gracefully release what is not meant for me, and to hold tightly and lovingly to what is. Allow me clarity, focus, and courage. Allow me to rise to my highest vibration. With deep gratitude I pray.
Intention for the week to come
May I be present and fully inhabit my mind, spirit, and physical body.
May I breathe peace in, and breathe love out.
May I have the self-possession and grace to meet others with kindness and acceptance.
May I find the flexibility in myself to gracefully accept the imperfections of life.
May I think before I speak.
May I think more than I speak.
May I be grateful.
May I allow myself to trust.
May I have CLARITY.
May I be patient.
May my vibration resonate in harmony with the universe.
May I be open to what the Great Spirit knows is for me, and may I walk my path accordingly by remembering I can only take it one step at the time.
Something I’m thinking about
The parallels between The Divine Exchange, the course I’m taking through The Center for Action and Contemplation, and the Rick Rubin book. Both are centered in the idea that we all have immediate access to a sustaining and nurturing source — it’s inside of us. It responds to the open heart, not the over-working mind. It responds to the surrender of the ego, not the clinging to it. It responds to us when we let go of control and just listen, when we are still rather than running. I am doing my best to let myself absorb these ideas. It’s starting to feel good and not scary. As I said, I made some progress this week.
Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. — Buddha
Habit
I’m more into the idea of ritual than habit these days. Maybe this space will change next week.
Best Word or Term
An old classic this week.
Kaydontcha: wild and unruly hair.
This is a family word on my Mama’s side. Well, I need to see if Gayle can come over and cut this old hair — good Lord it’s kaydontcha.
It breaks down to “can’t comb it and don’t ya try.”
Wishes
That we all are and will be well.
That we all are loved.
That we all put our pasts behind us every minute.
That you will forward this to one person you think might like it.
Have a wonderful, peaceful, joyous week. And thank you for supporting my work here at The Autotelic.
Peace. Love.
Allison
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This week’s music has been all Emmylou, all the time. I believe she is an actual angel.
Another Pot O’ Tea - Emmylou
You and Me Against the World - Helen Reddy
Here’s to Life - Shirley Horn
Falling Star - Karla Bonoff
Ice-Pulse - Cocteau Twins
Tell Me - Groove Theory
Thinking of a Place - The War on Drugs
Fields of Knowing - Skyline Motel
Stay With Me Till Dawn - Judie Tzuke
Keep Going (feat. Tony Joe White) - Boozoo Bajou
Coming Up Close - ‘Til Tuesday