My Sunday List
December 3, 2023
Quote
I do not wish women to have power over men; but over themselves. —Mary Wallstonecraft
Song
Anything by Funkmammoth, my favorite new discovery.
I watched
Hayes and I began watching a fantastic PBS documentary on Frida Kahlo a few months ago (it’s in 3 parts) and finally finished it this week. I highly recommend it to anyone who is remotely interested in Frida Kahlo, Diego Rivera, the world of modern art, or radical politics in the first half of the twentieth century. I am so enthralled and inspired by Kahlo, and like many women, have always been drawn to her. This documentary, in addition to the time I’ve spent in Mexico in recent years, deepened those feelings of respect, admiration, curiosity, and reverence.
Book
I’m still reading Margaret Renkl’s The Comfort of Crows. I told y’all a few weeks ago that I will devour any word she writes, but this is a book I’m taking in small bites. I don’t it to end, and have read each essay at least twice as I’ve gone along. This volume is perfect for that style of slow, deep reading — the essays are short and it’s easy to put down and pick up without too much of an interruption to the vibe — her voice is that consistent. There’s something about the melancholy that imbues even happy recollections of connecting to nature — it’s as if we know, whether we know or not, the fleeting and difficult lives of the creatures that were here long before we were.
Thing
What I’m wearing:
I love clothes. I love all the seasons and the different ways we dress for them. But jacket or light coat weather is my favorite. A jacket or coat does so much — you can throw a great one on with most things and look like you’ve made efforts that you haven’t. Looking put together requires the right ingredients, and I’m a big believer in the power of the third piece — the coat, jacket, scarf, or other touch that takes the look to the next level. I’m interested in what the confines of a look are — how do you push but never go too far? It isn’t as simple as taking one piece of jewelry off. Sometimes you must add. But how much? I believe in wearing one strand of pearls or an uncountable amount. In between hardly ever appeals to me for me.
I traveled with Hayes for most of the week, as his Christmas tour started in Houston Friday night. We flew from home to Austin on Tuesday to get it all started — there were rehearsals and prep work to do. And though I’m not an official part of Hayes’ crew, I am his partner in creative endeavors and it is my honor to be the support he needs when he needs it. On my packing list: black and blue bootcut jeans, brown vintage cowboy boots, crewneck sweaters in navy and black, a yoga ensemble, pajamas, my favorite vintage kimono (for daytime or hanging in the hotel room too), my suede duster, black leather pants, a hat, button ups in light denim and white oxford, a new kimono top I slobbered over for a few weeks while waiting on a discount code that made me feel better about buying it, black sandals (that can be worn with socks - oh yes, love that look sometimes), my pink Sabah baba slides, my trusty Sid Mashburn beaded belt (from the men’s department - I am not afraid), a vintage suede skirt from probably the mid 1990s, and two stage ensembles consisting of slip skirts and tonally related tops. And though my knee is still giving me fits, and the hip of my healthy leg is mightily pissed about having to bear the weight of it all, I allowed myself to wear one of my favorite gifts from my husband on stage, a pair of incredible suede stiletto boots to give me a little height up there.
But here’s what I can’t get over right now — I scored this pristine Givenchy coat on The Real Real back in the summer for an insanely low price (I can’t afford to pay for Givenchy, y’all — nowhere near it) and it’s perfect. Just so perfect. A brown wool houndstooth and that peaked shoulder and incredible all over long, lean line? It just does it for me and I love it with cowboy boots and bootcut jeans right now. It will be with me forever.
What I’m cooking
Not much this week. But, for Thanksgiving, I placed my favorite food order from Cajun Grocer for 32 ounces each of seafood and chicken/andouille gumbo, which comes from Louisiana in a cooler with dry ice. I thawed it the night before and it went right into my two Le Crueset dutch ovens to simmer on Thursday about 11am. I made some cheese dreams (thank you Julia Reed and Keith Meacham) for us to nibble while the rice got ready in the instant pot. We had warm, crusty baguettes and butter from a local bakery, I set a pretty table and six of us — Hayes, his son Eli, my son John Henry, my sister Shelby, and one of Hayes’ closest friends, John. Sissy made a delicious apple pie. Mary and Jaimee and Jared and Leslie came for dessert. It was so lovely and relaxed. I probably won’t cook again for a few weeks as there are two more weekends of this Christmas tour. Come see us!
Favorite Photo I Took This Week
Where I went
Austin and Houston, Texas. Three airports — Nashville, Austin, Houston Hobby — two flights, the second of which I just boarded. One rental car that took about 45 minutes to procure because the computer system was down in Austin. The Heights Theater. The South Congress Hotel. The Hotel Zaza. Manready Mercantile in Houston — a killer men’s boutique, and Stag, Allen’s Boots, Kickpleat, and By George — four deadly Austin boutique institutions. Clarks Oyster Bar in Austin, Alice Blue for dinner Saturday night in Houston.
What I did
I did all of the mundane things, as we all do. I’m working on making those things meaningful too — is living in a state of constant mindfulness even possible? I also painted a lot, read, sang, learned some songs, finished recording a song for Saint Seven (can’t wait for y’all to hear), dreamt up a stage design for Hayes’ Christmas tour and sourced the materials, dealt with my still cranky knee and the resulting bitchy hip on the right leg that’s sick of bearing all the weight, smelled the flowers, kept in touch with my people, had good conversations, had some decent nights of sleep, did a therapy session, spilled an almost full container of Guero’s tortilla soup on the floor of our hotel room and got so pissed I almost cried, marveled at the weird communication habits of the younger set, took one bathtub bath, bought some sweet holiday gifts, and sang “Baby, It’s Cold Outside,” with the wonderful Emily Gimble twice.
Something wonderful I noticed
How good it felt to let myself get angry about spilling the soup, and how much more quickly and easily I was able to let it go of it because I did.
Prayer
Thank you, Great Spirit, for giving me the strength to let go of everything I cannot control, which is everything outside of myself.
Intention for the week to come
May I be present before I am concerned with being anything else.
May I meet others with kindness and acceptance.
May I remember that this time of year is about being grateful for my blessings.
Something I’m thinking about
Yutori. The japanese word for the conscious act of slowing down to allow us to savor the world. It’s a refusal to rush. A refusal to talk just to talk. An absorption of and into the world around us with no goal but to experience the spaciousness of what feels right by allowing a natural pace that doesn’t wreck the nervous system.
Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. — Buddha
Habit
When I feel like I want to sink into negative thinking, I instead try to remember to count to five, do a quick breathing exercise or butterfly hug, and pray.
Wishes
That I recognize every opportunity to feel joy, and that I take each one.
That my fellow creatures do that too.
That you all are content and well.
That you will forward this to one person you think might like it.
These pieces are available in the Autotelic Shop.
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Have a wonderful, peaceful, joyous week. And thank you for supporting my work here at The Autotelic.
Peace. Love.
Allison
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I’ve been having a blast out on Hayes’ Grateful for Christmas tour. Come see us! We’ll be in Dallas next weekend and New Braunfels and Austin the next.
Don’t forget about this bit of cheer, too!
I started chanting "Show the coat!" - gorgeous. Happy holiday shows and and beyond! x
The Frida Kahlo series on PBS was riveting, albeit sad. I wonder what her life would have been like if she had not had that horrible accident. She was so gifted and had an indomitable spirit.
The holiday season tends to be overwhelming at times, so definitely try to remember to breathe, unplug, and reset.
P.S. On my Sunday List tonight - Steve Earle benefit concert for the Keswell school.