My Sunday List
May 05, 2024
Words
My sister drew my attention to The Wisdom Letter the other day.
Song
It’s almost twenty years old, but I keep listening to “Off the Record” by My Morning Jacket. Love those ska-esque stabs. And James’ singing is timeless.
I watched
I know I watched some things, but none left enough impression worth talking about because at this moment I can’t remember what they were, except for the first episode of Baby Reindeer, which is so sad and creepy. I’m not sure I’ll continue with it.
Book
I had less time for reading this week since I began an actual JOB. The job is delightful. This book is as well. I read a few more chapters this week, and I think I said this already, but I’ll say it again: Everything in this book is something we already know — as children, we are curious and unafraid, open and accepting — one rarely runs across a young child that knows how to diminish another unless they’ve been explicitly taught how. Most of us learn by the time we get to school, though. And we go about building barriers against others for most of our lives because we’re afraid we won’t be seen, that we’ll be criticized, that our emotional needs won’t be met. Most of us are explicitly taught that as well — it goes hand-in-hand with diminishing because we must experience being taken down in order to do it to another. And we do. And do. And do.
I don’t think we’re hopeless. But I do think we’ve damaged ourselves into our corners. It has given me a lot to think about regarding the way I show up in the world. How a person does that counts. In fact, how a person does that might count the most of all.
Favorite moments
Starting my new position at The Country Music Hall of Fame and museum. What a talented staff! I’m humbled and excited to be a part of such a deeply revered and culturally relevant institution. I hope I can live up to the honor.
Receiving this beautiful orchid of congratulations from a sweet friend.
The peonies and roses. What a glorious week for the flowers.
hot pink climbers and white and pink peonies
What I’m wearing
Trousers. Blazers. And everything in between, even a John Prine t-shirt. All of my wardrobe collecting starts to pay off now — when I don’t have to think very far to get it pulled together. I’m grateful.
What I’m cooking
I didn’t really get into much in the kitchen this week. I ate quite a few almonds at my new desk — I like to mix the ones seasoned with sea salt and raw ones so there’s a mix of textures and tastes. I also discovered that I don’t mind a bit of greek yogurt and granola for breakfast
The bohemian in me likes to run on just coffee until about 4pm, but that’s not going to work anymore, I don’t think.
What do y’all like for breakfast?
Favorite Photo I Took This Week
I’m grateful for
Everything. Most of all, the missteps I’ve made, because they’ve shown me what I need to steer clear of and what I need to change. It’s a long journey home, and in fact, we can’t arrive. Like a work of art, we don’t ever finish, we just stop.
What I made
Something wonderful I noticed
Once again, same as last week and same as the week before:
The more I let go, the better life gets.
What brought me joy
Having a cube, as it’s called at work. A cubicle. Who would’ve thought I’d ever be delighted to go to an office, but I’ll tell you — it has done wonders for my self-esteem this week. I was starting to feel a bit invisible inside my cocoon of a home. I LOVE my home and like to be in it all the time, but when it comes to mental health, I don’t think it’s a good idea to do that. I am what’s called an extroverted introvert — the Briggs-Meyers test told me so — I’m not sure what that means but maybe it’s something like a sociable yet quiet person. That’s how I like feeling these days, anyway. All of those years of running my mouth — now I feel compelled to keep it closed whenever possible! That may have to do with recognizing how very much I still have to learn about this walk.
Recommended reading (and I’ve just picked my dog-eared and marked up copy from the stack that’s beside the bed and am refreshing my outlook with its wisdom): Richard Rohr’s Falling Upward.
Prayer
Thank you, Great Spirit, for giving me the strength to let go of everything I cannot control, which is everything outside of myself. Allow me to let go of shenpa and exchange it for shunyata. Only through you can I do that and know peace. And finally, please give me the strength that is required to clearly see what I need to see.
(shenpa - what hooks us. shunyata - being empty of what hooks us, no ego, no separate idea of self)
Intention for the week to come
May I be present before I am concerned with being anything else.
May I breathe peace in, and breathe love out.
May I meet others with kindness and acceptance and still keep my boundaries.
May I feel confident enough in those boundaries to be flexible in my actions.
May I use my words for good.
May I be grateful.
May I trust.
May I have CLARITY.
May I be patient.
May I be open to what the Great Spirit knows is for me, and may I walk my path accordingly by remembering I can only take it one step at the time.
Something I’m thinking about
Going back to what I said earlier — I’m thinking a lot about how I show up in the world. How do I meet others? How do I present who I am? Am I a welcoming and warm presence or an intimidating and/or cold one? I want to make sure my intentions match my actions.
That requires utter simplicity.
So I’m thinking about simplicity too. What is it? What is the path to it? These things seem to be starting to sift out for me — I like aging for the simple fact that the process insists on us answering these questions. Again, the Richard Rohr book examines this in a wonderful way.
Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. — Buddha
Habit
6:15am yoga.
Best Word or Term
Orisen: a prayer; deep mystical thought or communion.
He took over a minute to respond, as if I had interrupted his morning orisen.
Wishes
That I recognize every opportunity to feel joy, and that I take each one.
That my fellow creatures do that too.
That you all are content and well.
That you will forward this to one person you think might like it.
Have a wonderful, peaceful, joyous week. And thank you for supporting my work here at The Autotelic.
Peace. Love.
Allison
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I love homemade yogurt (madzoon in Armenian...pronounced with a long a) for breakfast with muesli and berries. I've been slowly reading Simone Weil's book, Waiting For God. I highly recommend it. I read Falling Upward three years ago, and it's time to revisit that gem of a book.
I'm so excited for you and your new job. As a former long time bookseller, I too love Silas House. Such an incredible human. As for breakfast, a warm slice of banana nut bread with a schmear of cream cheese is just about as good as it gets. I hope your new adventure brings you loads of joy. ❤️