My Sunday List
February 23, 2025
Words
“In the end everyone, or not quite everyone, made friends again in order not to be stuffy or righteous. I did too. But I could never make friends again truly, neither in my heart nor in my head. When you cannot make friends any more in your head is the worst. But it was more complicated than that.” —Ernest Hemingway, A Movable Feast
Music
I’ve been listening to Natalie Hemby for weeks now. I highly recommend her entire catalog, and want to tell you that on March 15, I’ll be in conversation with her as host of our Poets & Prophets series, which features legendary songwriters. Natalie is certainly that. She’ll play some songs and we’ll talk about her career during what’s sure to be a thrilling ninety minutes for me. Get more info here.
What I’ve Been Writing About
I’ve been writing a little of everything. The development of a program like the aforementioned Poets & Prophets takes time—to listen, to read lyrics and peruse interviews, to study the career trajectory—it is my honor to sit down with the absolute legends we feature in our programs at The Country Music Hall of Fame and Musuem, where I am a writer-editor. So I’ve been doing a lot of scribbling about Ms. Hemby. Other than that, I continue to develop the details for the characters who live only in my mind so far—a designated notebook just for them is at my side.
Book
Ernest Hemingway’s A Movable Feast.
Misogyny aside, Hemingway is a desert island writer. Is it cliché to say that? If so, I’ll remind myself that clichés are clichés for a reason. Apologies to Gelhorn.
Gratitude
love. resilience. faith. healing. snow. the sun that melts the snow. dogs. cats. friends. hugs. kisses. sanity. clarity. an able body. an able mind. central heat. fireplaces. Sundays. music.
The way you do anything is the way you do everything.
Why Don’t You…
(apologies to Ms. Vreeland, of course).
appreciate the simple engineering of something like a hinge more often?
appreciate the very complicated engineering of the human body?
consider that energy can’t be snuffed out?
let go of what you can’t control?
What I made.
soup.
salads.
I twisted yarn and other materials in my hands for a new capelet project for a friend.
lists of things I need to do.
wishes.
Favorite photo of the week
What brought me joy
feeling safe enough to be vulnerable.
transparent conversation.
feeling appreciated for who I genuinely am even though who I genuinely am can be difficult to understand, I think.
knowing that John Henry is living his best life on his winter break vacation right now.
my animals.
believing in love. the healthy kind.
I added a few lines to my prayer today. They’re in the first section. I remind myself all the time that we can’t cherry pick life. Every experience is to be appreciated for what it is, what it’s teaching us. And that’s so hard! I don’t naturally appreciate unpleasant times. But we have to have them. If we didn’t, we wouldn’t know what’s pleasant. What’s interesting about how I see this now is, I know the flood is going to come—who do I want in my boat? Decisions about relationships at this time in my life seem to be starting and ending with that question. Who do I want in my boat with me as the waters rise all around us? I certainly don’t want anyone in there who isn’t sure about me. Just as an exercise, imagine it. Who do you trust to help you bail the water out?
Prayer
Thank you, Great Spirit, for the life you give me every day. Thank you for the blessing of my son, my sister, my family both biological and chosen. Thank you for the blessing of this experience, even when it seems like the hard times are too hard and too many. I know I must walk through periods of difficulty in order to learn what I need to learn until I transmute the lessons and see that every encounter with my woundedness is an opportunity to address it, not to try to numb the pain. That process is ongoing and will never ease until I die if I do my proper work as a spiritual being. If I keep my eyes on you, I can see it all as a blessing. None of us gets to have a life of no hardship. Struggle exists for a reason. If you cut open a chrysalis in order to help the butterfly out and ease its struggle, it will not build the strength it needs to fly.
Humble me and lift me out of my pit. Send me the tests I need to remind me to choose the path that leads my soul home and to turn to you with every breath. Please strengthen my faith so I might hand all matters over to you and the wisdom to know you will work miracles in me through whatever you place in my blessed path. Remind me my choices determine my experiences and my lessons can come through positive ones rather than the opposite.
Allow me to gracefully release what is not meant for me and to hold tightly and lovingly to what is. Allow me to be open to change every day as you remind me it is the only constant besides you. Allow me to repair what is broken. Allow me awareness of my dissociative tendencies and keep me present so I may make choices that reflect the life I desire. Allow me clarity, focus, and courage. Allow me to rise to my highest vibration each day and spread truth and beauty wherever I go. May I learn how to truly forgive. With deep gratitude I pray that your will, and not mine, shall be done.
Intention for the week to come
May I be present and fully inhabit my mind, spirit, and physical body.
May I walk through the world with an open heart and without judgment.
May I be curious and ask questions before I decide.
May I breathe peace in, and breathe love out.
May I be humble and see myself clearly so I may accept my limitations while working to lovingly decrease them. May my progress be reflected through my actions, seen and unseen.
May I have the self-possession and grace to meet others with the kindness and acceptance I desire for myself.
May I find the flexibility in myself to gracefully accept the imperfections of life and not take inconveniences personally.
May I think before I speak.
May I think MORE than I speak.
May I first do no harm.
May I be grateful for what I have and may I not seek more for my selfish gain.
May I allow myself to trust but may I also always use my discernment.
May I have CLARITY and find a way to be CALM about it.
May I be patient.
May my vibration resonate in harmony with the universe.
May I remember it isn’t about me.
May I do good work.
May I have optimism and positive thoughts.
May I be open to what the Great Spirit knows is for me, and may I walk my path accordingly by remembering I can only take it one step at a time.
May I LAUGH MY ASS OFF.
Something I’m thinking about
Understanding motivation.
I go wrong when I assume the intentions of another person. It’s best to ask if I don’t understand something or if I’m curious about some behavior.
I think I haven’t asked enough questions in past relationships because I didn’t want the answers. I wasn’t strong enough to risk the answer might not be what I wanted for me or the other person. That’s not love. That’s control and co-dependency. I think I’m finally well enough to cop to that. Self-awareness is the only thing that can drive change. I’m working hard at becoming fine right by myself so I don’t need someone to fill any sort of void in my life. And that feels so good. Whatever comes next, I want to be my best self in it. I know I’ll fall in love again. May I learn enough during this space, however long it is, to finally become the person I need to be to live up to it. My best self asks questions, keeps an open mind, and doesn’t live life in fear of losing. My best self is autonomous and can not only face the morning alone, but sometimes prefers to, because she puts herself in the center of her life and allows others to do the same. If something doesn’t fit, it’s addressed, not buried.
This side of the mountain is riddled with inevitable loss. I have more life behind me than I do ahead of me and nature dictates I keep my eyes on the essential. Weeding instead of acquiring. Keenly discerning by drawing on treasured experience. That’s the payoff in getting old. Staying warm is the trick, which is mostly a choice. I choose sunshine.
Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. — Buddha
DO NOT EVER LET THE BASTARDS GET YOU DOWN.
A few favorite subscription based newsletters: AIRMAIL and PUCK — I think they both have sign up deals for percentages off as well as free versions of their newsletters. I’m enjoying both. Sometimes it’s too much to read and I end up scanning, but I figure it’s also worth it to support independent journalism. That may be more important than ever.
Wishes
That we all are and will be well.
That we all are loved.
That we all put our pasts behind us every minute.
That we all have a glorious and fulfilling week.
That everyone who reads this will feel peace in at least some small way.
That you will forward this to one person you think might like it.
Have a wonderful, peaceful, joyous week. And thank you for supporting my work here at The Autotelic.
Peace. Love.
Allison
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Thank you, as always, Allison. Something I'm thinking about is excellent. Love your pictures and inspirational seeking. Happy end of the month! Think Spring!
I always appreciate your Sunday List and it always resonates. Thank you:)