My Sunday List
Special Edition: All about Optimism || June 9, 2024
Words
Attitudes are more important than facts.” That is worth repeating until its truth grips you. Any fact facing us, however difficult, even seemingly hopeless, is not so important as our attitude towards that fact. How you think about a fact may defeat you before you ever do anything about it. You may permit a fact to overwhelm you mentally before you start to deal with it actually. On the other hand, a confident and optimistic thought pattern can modify or overcome the fact altogether.. —Dr. Karl Menninger
Gratitude and optimism must be practiced.
Music
Lots of jazz playing in the house. Summery things like Getz/Gilberto. Bossa Nova.
My birthday is approaching and I want it to be a happy one, so I’m already revving up. Fifty-two feels significant. My friends agree that it’s a big one for whatever reason. So I’m deep in fan mode right now. One of the advantages of having another job besides artist is I’m able to be a better appreciator. The joy of that feels so good.
A Black Keys mix came up on my Spotify a few days ago and I’ve been digging the rock and roll that it has gathered together — Alabama Shakes, The Strokes (“Last Night” took me back), The Stones, The Raconteurs, Broken Bells — it’s an excellent vibe.
I watched
Nothing. I had intention to, thinking most nights I’d make it to the sofa to relax a little and maybe start a new series, but it never happened. I saw this series is starting today. Looks interesting — I’m always trying to become more still. It takes a long time for most of us to become truly interested in being with ourselves. We first have to accept and love who we are — no one likes to be around someone they don’t like. I’ve begun reminding myself that I am my own best friend and should be treated as such.
Book
Now I’m deep into Lives of the Wives.
Behind more than a few great writers is a great first reader, editor, confidante, caretaker, protector of time and solitude, cook, maid, laundress, nurse, consigliere, and devoted admirer. People are so complicated, and I love reading about it all — I’m enjoying this book.
Favorite moments
The peace an Al Anon meeting brought me this morning.
Pulling weeds.
Spending time with John Henry in what might be one of the best purchases I’ve ever made for his enjoyment — this floating teepee. It’s perfect at twilight when the traffic dies down and the birdsong is loud. We listened to Stardust (Willie Nelson) in it Friday night. Wow. What an idyllic and joyful thing.
What I’m wearing
I somehow didn’t take one photo of what I wore this week. When H. is traveling he likes for me to send him a photo of what I look like when I leave the house, but he was home most of the week and then I forgot to do it Friday morning. By now, y’all know I have a sort of formula. It’s getting hot, though, so one thing I did was take a black sweater blazer (one of my go to items because it’s so versatile and can take a summer look toward a more serious direction) to work and leave it there, because air conditioning in the summertime with summer clothes on can sometimes be the bane of my existence if it blows on me wrong. I know y’all know what I mean. So it will live there on a hanger in my cubicle for several months so I’m never caught without a little warmth.
Yes, I am apparently my own Grandma now.
Take a sweater, honey.
—Fashion you can buy, but style you possess. The key to style is learning who you are, which takes years. There's no how-to road map to style. It's about self expression and, above all, attitude. —Iris Apfel
What I’m cooking
I’ve been keeping it really simple. And simple is usually best, especially in summer when everything tastes so good. I’ve been enjoying using some herbs from the garden. Here’s the new bed that I started with one of our summer angels, Jaidyn.
The most noteworthy thing about gardeners is that they are always optimistic, always enterprising and never satisfied. They always look forward to doing something better than they have ever done before. ———Vita Sackville-West, the owner and co-creator of the great English garden Sissinghurst
Favorite Photo I Took This Week
I collect these little guys. Here are four I got the other day sitting on my (kind of dirty I think) kitchen counter just before I added them to weird little guy wall in the kitchen. They’re called Squints and are made here. I envision the entire wall covered in them, but that will take a while. Rome wasn’t built in a day.
I believe your home tells a story about who you are and who you aspire to be. We represent ourselves through the things we own. I don't believe in trends. I believe in collecting things that you connect with. We should surround ourselves with things we care about, that have meaning. —Nate Berkus
I’m grateful for
The realization that I alone am responsible for my peace of mind, contentment, words, actions, and happiness. What freedom!
What I made
I don’t think I made even one sketch or a stitch. I am hopeful I’ll be able to change that this afternoon. I have a few paintings to do. I’m also hoping to get some finished for the shop before summer’s end. If not, it will be a fall project.
Something wonderful I noticed
I know how to create and feel joy.
I’ve always known I have a large capacity for joy, but I’ve held myself back from experiencing it so often for whatever reason — limits I put on myself due to neediness or clinging or craving, a lack of self-worth, lack of trust in the world and my capability, and honestly and simply, all of that means fear. I’ve always tried to maintain control so I’d be safe. Control of things outside of myself. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Improving our own attitudes, and our own state of mind, takes time. Haste and impatience can only defeat our purposes.
What brought me joy
What I just said. ⬆️
Plus embracing it.
Plus a new breathing app. And one more thing — understanding that life is only about one minute long. We live and die with every inhale and exhale. If only the ego could handle that and let go in the same manner.
Develop an inner safe space, even when the world outside is crazy —the wellbeingproject.org
Prayer
Thank you, Great Spirit, for giving me the strength to let go of everything I cannot control, which is everything outside of myself. Allow me to let go of shenpa and exchange it for shunyata. Only through you can I do that and know peace. And finally, please give me the strength that is required to clearly see what I need to see.
(shenpa - what hooks us. shunyata - being empty of what hooks us, no ego, no separate idea of self)
Intention for the week to come
May I be present before I am concerned with being anything else.
May I breathe peace in, and breathe love out.
May I meet others with kindness and acceptance and still keep my boundaries.
May I feel confident enough in those boundaries to be flexible in my actions.
May I use my words for good.
May I be grateful.
May I trust.
May I have CLARITY.
May I be patient.
May I be open to what the Great Spirit knows is for me, and may I walk my path accordingly by remembering I can only take it one step at the time.
Something I’m thinking about
My Mama. Though she’s been gone for so long (almost thirty-eight years), I am grateful for my connection to her. Sometimes I feel her energy so strong, and my daddy too. The veil continues to thin, and I know that’s because I’m open to it doing so. I don’t think connections end at death. Ours hasn’t.
My great uncle David died on Friday. My grandmother’s younger brother, he had been in a nursing home for a while and was probably ready if I had to guess. He had a gigantic, booming voice — I remember so many evenings spent at Nanny’s house at a fiddling (what we called gathering to play music, which we did often) and the deeper David got in his cups the louder he’d sing. And it was glorious. He was a good father, husband, and brother.
The Dolbear family has an incredible legacy of relationships. They’re directly responsible for most of what I know about love. Of course, there are always bad actors, particularly when a clan is of such a size (David and my grandmother are two of fourteen children), but the Dolbears showed up for each other. A lot of them lived on the same road their entire lives. Grandma’s/their mother’s house (where they were all born) was near the end of Bridlepath Road (reportedly the oldest road in Clark County, Alabama, and a former real Choctaw bridle path), Her son Clyde (he named the road) and his family lived down from her, then came his son Nathan and his family across the road from Clyde, then my grandparents — Nanny and PawPaw (Laura Lee and H.P.) down a little from them, then David and his family up the hill from her, Lottie Mae (another sister) down her offshoot road, Reesie (another sister) and her husband Smokey across the hill from Nanny and PawPaw (I have a tiny scar on my knee from falling at the top of that little hill one day when I was tiny), Margaret (Lottie Mae’s daughter) and her family across from David’s. Sounds like a clan to me! It’s a melancholy feeling to think about what was now being gone, or at least certainly nothing like it used to be. Life keeps going. As it should.
Recommended listening
Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. — Buddha
Habit
5:15 wake-up. Coffee. Read a little. Prayers. Yoga. Prayers. Prayers. Prayers.
Best Word or Term
Biblioklept: A person who steals books.
Wishes
That I recognize every opportunity to feel joy, and that I take each one.
That my fellow creatures do that too.
That you all are content and well.
That you will forward this to one person you think might like it.
Have a wonderful, peaceful, joyous week. And thank you for supporting my work here at The Autotelic.
Peace. Love.
Allison
There are first edition copies of I Dream He Talks to Me and Blood in the shop. I will sign each copy that is ordered. If you would like it personalized, please send an email with your order number and the name you would like on the signature page to allisonmoorercontact@gmail.com.
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Your posts are always packed with wisdom, enlightenment, knowledge and personality. Thank you.
Love that your family lived on the same road. My grandparents built houses in front of their home in Maryland for their 3 daughters. My family was my community for many years. Thank you for taking me back to those days.
I love J.H.’s teepee!!!! Magical.
I also have a late uncle David. He was a musician and a biker, big sci-fi fan, did a lot of drugs in the 70s and 80s, and hung out with Shawn Colvin in the 70s.