My Sunday List

June 04, 2023

Quote

“An expectation is a premeditated resentment.” —Courage to Change

Song

My Apology by Liz Rose. Just listen — no further commentary needed.

I watched

I started Bad Sisters late last evening while I did my best to get John Henry through a hard and almost sleepless night. I dig it. I love the sister bond — it is like no other. I especially love it when it boils up to serve a little justice. I’m excited about seeing how this one turns out. Don’t tell me (and thanks, Jason Howard, for the tip).

Book

Have y’all read Lucinda’s book yet? I enjoyed it. It flows like she talks — and that’s a high compliment. I read it in a few days and felt like I’d visited with a friend. A very rare bird of a friend, but still, her voice/her essentialism, whether it’s floating through the air or resting on the page, feels foundational — like a grounding part of the universe that we all need during these strange and chaotic days.

Thing

Plain Lays Potato Chips.

These, along with surprisingly large quantities of cheese, have kept me alive for most of my life. I’ve always had funkiness around eating, and at the age of 50 I’m finally figuring out that it has a lot to do with sensory issues. Who knew I had so many? Also, apples and trees — noticing my own food issues helps me understand my son’s. I am so grateful for the opportunity to learn as I go! And to be fueled on the journey by some crispy potatoes. They are also, of course, good for the voice and have saved many a recording session for me.

Favorite Photo I Took This Week

Once again, I didn’t take it. The most lovely Emily West caught this one of my beloved sister and me at a girl’s dinner the other night.

And one I did take. I’m so excited about seeing butterflies in my yard.

 

Prayer

Thank you, Great Spirit, for forgiveness, for growth, for showing me what I need to see, and the clarity to know what to do with what is in my sight. Thank you for protection, for guidance, for sustenance, and for rest.

Intention for the week to come

May I find compassion and empathy for myself as I continue to dive deeper into healing work. May I allow that work to be the center and purpose of my life without apology. May I find comfort, clarity, and peace in the solitude I cultivate for myself. May I always offer love and comfort to those I meet on my path.

Something I’m thinking about:

Balance. I’ve never been good at it. But what I’m finding now is that if I tune into myself and listen, I can be less obsessive and more at ease about how to live life, because I can allow myself to be human and accept that whatever I need, and whatever anyone else needs is okay. I don’t think we can balance if we can’t breathe. And holding the breath, which is how I’ve gotten through most of my life, is nothing other than white knuckling. When I do that I don’t flow, ie. find balance of any kind.

I’m starting to learn how to breathe.

On that note — I embroidered one of my favorite buddhist sayings — let go or be dragged — on a white linen skirt the other day. A few days later I ripped it all out.

I left the heart though.

Lessons in impermanence.

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Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. — Buddha

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Habit

Having coffee with my husband every day as a practice of connection. We’re learning so much. What a gift to be able to walk through the world with someone and learn together. It’s also hard as hell. It’s worth it.

Wishes

1. That I remember how to stay calm.

2. That I take good care of my son, nurture my family and home, make good art, and keep myself clear of negative emotions.

3. That you will forward this to one person and that person becomes a subscriber too.

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Have a wonderful, peaceful, joyous week. And thank you for supporting my work here at The Autotelic.

Lots of love,

Allison

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