We made it
through August
I guess I just don’t know anyone who truly enjoys it. August is a cruel month — it’s not only usually the warmest, it’s one of the longest. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said one-hundred times — Europeans have the right idea. Take the month of August off. Build it in to your year, so you can actually do it. Be sane and take a vacation when it’s a billion degrees. Sit down and rest and have a cool drink. Take naps. It will be over soon and then we can all go back to work and miss being on vacation. Maybe we’ll get there in the US one day. But I can at least try to incorporate these ideas into my own life. Maybe. Sometimes. I digress.
I’m so glad to see September arrive. I was going to post Wednesday, the day before was my Mama’s 79th birthday, but I ended up not feeling like it and not sharing exactly where I was, which was in a place of sorrow, and specific sorrow that I could not see her and just talk to her. And I thought about how I never really talked to her. I get so jealous when I think about my friends getting to talk to their parents. I feel like I never did. Not at all. Maybe my mother a little, but not my father. The times I got up the nerve, the conversations where short, to the point, not really even conversations but information gathering sessions with mostly yes and no answers. He is kinder in his spirit incarnation than he was allowed to be in his earthly one.
I guess I sort of had to grit my teeth through it — it’s starts in early August with my great-grandmother’s death, then Mama and Daddy, then Justin, then Mammy — my husband was at the bottom of the Grand Canyon for two weeks during the month as well (when all those deaths fell), which was hard for me. But I am so grateful that he had an amazing, once-in-a-lifetime experience and I know he will always cherish it. It’s possible to be sad about something and happy about it at the same time. I think it’s part of developing maturity when you’re able to do that? I hope it’s a good sign, regardless.
Let’s just say I’m glad to feel the shift and look forward to what fall is bringing — parties, trips, writing, painting, connecting. I’ve been painting an awful lot and will be getting some of them up for sale by Sept 10th. Some different designs, sizes, and price points will be included.
And hey — y’all send me some questions. I’m fresh out! allisonmoorercontact@gmail.com
Peace. Love. Have a great weekend.
Allison
Sending love and peace to you. It has taken me a long time to accept the idea, the feeling of what it means to "sit" in sorrow -- to feel it, to not run from it or try to anesthetize it, and to know that it will neither destroy me nor overrun me. I'm certain that we do not learn this, especially in our culture, and it has taken me until now, at 60 yrs old, to grok it. When I read your post, I was reminded of Francis Weller's work in Wild Edge of Sorrow, and how he writes "“Grief and love are sisters, woven together from the beginning. Their kinship reminds us that there is no love that does not contain loss and no loss that is not a reminder of the love we carry for what we once held close.”
Allison thanks for taking the time to post. It's always a pleasure to read it.