I wonder how many parents provide wise counsel. My dad is a savant who was very good at one very narrow thing and made a lot of money at it. Otherwise, he's kind of an idiot. Weekend before last I had to stop him from reading a credit card number out loud in public. We were on a cruise together, and I got seasick. I asked him to get some medicine. "How?" I've had to look elsewhere for anything approaching wise counsel.
For me, beyond all the mental health stuff (the suicides are cousins, but a lot of other things going on), I feel kind of like Bruce Willis in Unbreakable. It's a miracle I've survived everything that's happened to me physically. I can't exactly remember how many cars I wrecked before I stopped driving. The last time, I flipped going 70 on the highway, leading to 4 surgeries on my mangled thumb, a broken shoulder and hand, and a huge gash on my skull. I've survived MRSA in my lumbar spine, and I had to switch IV antibiotics when my white count went nuts. 5 surgeries before 5, more than 20 now. A few concussions.
Unhinged is probably a fair descriptor of my younger self. Starting a fight with a linebacker for the Michigan Wolverines, telling a Holocaust joke to a German, bouncing rent, dating an adult model.... I almost wish I'd had substance issues, but this was all me.
I'm not bipolar, but I see what I just wrote, and I can see how that was a plausible, albeit mistaken diagnosis. Had a fair bit of Harlan Ellison in me.
I for one am very glad you’re still here— and even happier than you’ve ever been.
That’s priceless.
Daunting to think of all the tragedies we survive … and how strong parts of us become as we’re forced to grow.
Happy Birthday Allison, and I hope it is your best year ever. 🌺🎶
I appreciate this connection with you!
My own life has been extremely challenging lately for health reasons, but I still deeply value and honor all the beautiful (and yes, sometimes difficult) parts. What an amazing journey.
I , also, did not think I’d live too long… not sure why… but it makes each year, each day, like icing on the cake.
I can understand why you might feel that way about aging. Children who have parents who died young often think they will die about that same age. That said, middle age is not all that old, so you shift your mindset and save those thoughts for when you’re in at least in your 70s or 80’s!
Allison, I’m so happy you’re still here. You’ve helped me in many ways over the years with your music, your books, artwork, your soul soothing Sunday shows during the pandemic, your beautiful comments. You’ve made this a much more beautiful world. You’ve endured many hardships, but you’re a survivor with so many wonderful gifts to share with our world. I’m so grateful for you and I wish you all the best… always :)
Allison, as a 44 year old who lost his mom when she was 54 (24 years ago)and both grandfathers died in their early 50s, well before my parents met, I completely read over your comment like it made all the sense in the world. Thank you for taking the time to reflect on it! I'm incredibly grateful for your voice in this crazy world!
On the subject of growing old, I feel compelled to tell you an awful lot of well meaning people will give you a lot of advice on the time to do it, and the proper way to approach it. I know this because I suffered through that "awful lot" myself, and I almost fell for it!
What I really want to say is as long as you keep going, keep doing, keep pursuing your passions and refuse to let anybody "set you down", the longer you last, the longer you remain engaged, and vital.
Sure, you have to stay aware of your health, and your own limitations, and adjustments will necessarily happen, but be adamant about you making them, and not "an awful lot" of well meaning friends. Doctors should probably be the exception to the advisors you ignore with a smile, but I think life is going on around us all the time. A comfy sofa, staying safe inside, not overdoing it, might keep you from pulling a muscle, but it can also deprive you of a ton of meaningful experiences, wonderful adventures, and fabulous memories. And I'm told it's true of muscle, if you don't use it you lose it. I see no reason that can't be true of life itself.
Somebody said it, I wish I knew who, but "you ain't beat till you quit", so keep moving forward as long as you can!
Once you park yourself on the couch with a remote and a cellphone as your two best friends, it gets hard to get up and make it to the dance!
Just a thought (that turned into a dozen, lol).
I know a lot of people will say "Have a nice day", "Have a nice evening" or "Have a great weekend", and there is nothing wrong with that, especially if it's heartfelt and not just uttering an appropriate cliche. But they all feel somewhat limited, and like some lives, over far too soon.
What I wish for you is a fantastic, wonderfully fabulous, curious, adventurous, well traveled, well read, fully experienced life, full of the best music you can find or create, the best dances you can see or better yet dance to yourself. I wish for your life to be productive, prosperous, and purposeful, healthy, and perhaps most importantly, happy!
We are very glad that you are still with us! But why? Because you’ve opened up your heart and soul through your writings and this substack and that helps give us the courage to face the trials in our own lives. Lots of Love! ❤️
I made a decision a while back that I was not going to get old. Of course I would look older, but I was going to do my best to keep my mind and heart young. At 74, so far so good. 😎
Resilience in the face of trauma is very unpredictable I think. Some people go through so much and somehow thrive while others struggle despite having advantages. Aging is a privilege. Your insights are appreciated.
Thank you, for this heartfelt post. I'm glad you're here. My life has been filled with a grief so deep, yet I continue to be thankful, as well. And my brother commited suicide in '23. We were close. Let's keep on keepin' on, Allison. Blessings to you for a beautiful, relaxing and fun summer.
I wonder how many parents provide wise counsel. My dad is a savant who was very good at one very narrow thing and made a lot of money at it. Otherwise, he's kind of an idiot. Weekend before last I had to stop him from reading a credit card number out loud in public. We were on a cruise together, and I got seasick. I asked him to get some medicine. "How?" I've had to look elsewhere for anything approaching wise counsel.
For me, beyond all the mental health stuff (the suicides are cousins, but a lot of other things going on), I feel kind of like Bruce Willis in Unbreakable. It's a miracle I've survived everything that's happened to me physically. I can't exactly remember how many cars I wrecked before I stopped driving. The last time, I flipped going 70 on the highway, leading to 4 surgeries on my mangled thumb, a broken shoulder and hand, and a huge gash on my skull. I've survived MRSA in my lumbar spine, and I had to switch IV antibiotics when my white count went nuts. 5 surgeries before 5, more than 20 now. A few concussions.
Unhinged is probably a fair descriptor of my younger self. Starting a fight with a linebacker for the Michigan Wolverines, telling a Holocaust joke to a German, bouncing rent, dating an adult model.... I almost wish I'd had substance issues, but this was all me.
I'm not bipolar, but I see what I just wrote, and I can see how that was a plausible, albeit mistaken diagnosis. Had a fair bit of Harlan Ellison in me.
I for one am very glad you’re still here— and even happier than you’ve ever been.
That’s priceless.
Daunting to think of all the tragedies we survive … and how strong parts of us become as we’re forced to grow.
Happy Birthday Allison, and I hope it is your best year ever. 🌺🎶
I appreciate this connection with you!
My own life has been extremely challenging lately for health reasons, but I still deeply value and honor all the beautiful (and yes, sometimes difficult) parts. What an amazing journey.
I , also, did not think I’d live too long… not sure why… but it makes each year, each day, like icing on the cake.
Sending ❤️
I love this!
I can understand why you might feel that way about aging. Children who have parents who died young often think they will die about that same age. That said, middle age is not all that old, so you shift your mindset and save those thoughts for when you’re in at least in your 70s or 80’s!
Allison, I’m so happy you’re still here. You’ve helped me in many ways over the years with your music, your books, artwork, your soul soothing Sunday shows during the pandemic, your beautiful comments. You’ve made this a much more beautiful world. You’ve endured many hardships, but you’re a survivor with so many wonderful gifts to share with our world. I’m so grateful for you and I wish you all the best… always :)
Allison, as a 44 year old who lost his mom when she was 54 (24 years ago)and both grandfathers died in their early 50s, well before my parents met, I completely read over your comment like it made all the sense in the world. Thank you for taking the time to reflect on it! I'm incredibly grateful for your voice in this crazy world!
On the subject of growing old, I feel compelled to tell you an awful lot of well meaning people will give you a lot of advice on the time to do it, and the proper way to approach it. I know this because I suffered through that "awful lot" myself, and I almost fell for it!
What I really want to say is as long as you keep going, keep doing, keep pursuing your passions and refuse to let anybody "set you down", the longer you last, the longer you remain engaged, and vital.
Sure, you have to stay aware of your health, and your own limitations, and adjustments will necessarily happen, but be adamant about you making them, and not "an awful lot" of well meaning friends. Doctors should probably be the exception to the advisors you ignore with a smile, but I think life is going on around us all the time. A comfy sofa, staying safe inside, not overdoing it, might keep you from pulling a muscle, but it can also deprive you of a ton of meaningful experiences, wonderful adventures, and fabulous memories. And I'm told it's true of muscle, if you don't use it you lose it. I see no reason that can't be true of life itself.
Somebody said it, I wish I knew who, but "you ain't beat till you quit", so keep moving forward as long as you can!
Once you park yourself on the couch with a remote and a cellphone as your two best friends, it gets hard to get up and make it to the dance!
Just a thought (that turned into a dozen, lol).
I know a lot of people will say "Have a nice day", "Have a nice evening" or "Have a great weekend", and there is nothing wrong with that, especially if it's heartfelt and not just uttering an appropriate cliche. But they all feel somewhat limited, and like some lives, over far too soon.
What I wish for you is a fantastic, wonderfully fabulous, curious, adventurous, well traveled, well read, fully experienced life, full of the best music you can find or create, the best dances you can see or better yet dance to yourself. I wish for your life to be productive, prosperous, and purposeful, healthy, and perhaps most importantly, happy!
You owe it to yourself.
Thank you. Honestly, it just sorta fell out on the page, kind of like my best songs do. Be well, be safe, and by all means, be happy!
We are very glad that you are still with us! But why? Because you’ve opened up your heart and soul through your writings and this substack and that helps give us the courage to face the trials in our own lives. Lots of Love! ❤️
I made a decision a while back that I was not going to get old. Of course I would look older, but I was going to do my best to keep my mind and heart young. At 74, so far so good. 😎
Resilience in the face of trauma is very unpredictable I think. Some people go through so much and somehow thrive while others struggle despite having advantages. Aging is a privilege. Your insights are appreciated.
Happy belated birthday! Sounds like you had a good one. I hope you have a happy and healthy year.
You have done a remarkable job. The stats say you should have been quite different. Inspiring
Thank you, for this heartfelt post. I'm glad you're here. My life has been filled with a grief so deep, yet I continue to be thankful, as well. And my brother commited suicide in '23. We were close. Let's keep on keepin' on, Allison. Blessings to you for a beautiful, relaxing and fun summer.