I started making a list of things I wanted to put on the Sunday list the other day. I decided they didn’t follow the format I normally use. Everything feels out of order in the world. I guess I’m a bit out of order too. I spent the week at home with John Henry—he was on spring break so I took vacation from work—which was great but the thing about going away is, it removes you from the responsibility of the every day. I was sitting here not thirty minutes ago admonishing myself for what I didn’t get done—John Henry left today after being home ten days—but then realized how much I did do. Most of it was work that needed to be done outside, y’all know how much I love my flowers and vines.
That’s as far as I got Sunday night before I started nodding off. I decided to come back to it today.
On the list of things:
Enduring hollow times. I’m not sure what I mean by this. Maybe taking a “this too shall pass” approach to life. I’ve met people who look like they’ve seen and done it all, and they look that way mostly because of what they don’t say. There’s a clear and present wisdom about them that demands respect. They don’t hurry, they don’t get pulled off track. They use their heads and allow others to lose theirs. Maybe that’s what I mean. Life is a marathon if we’re lucky, not a sprint. May I act accordingly.
Unfailing Love. This one’s curious too. I’m not even sure what I consider to be such a thing as unfailing love. But on a deeper level, I know love doesn’t fail us. We fail each other. Love is perfect.
How to determine the way to go. I guess we’re all trying to figure this one out. We’re afraid of making mistakes so we second guess ourselves into knots of inertia. We let good things get away for fear of not being free for some unknown great, failing to realize that good and great can often be one and the same, just different levels on different days. Or we let the great go because good is easier. Some things chisel us and some things allow us to soften—and we don’t need to choose one or the other. I’m having a harder and harder time accepting dualistic thinking in a general sense. Choosing one thing doesn’t mean you reject the other, it just means that’s the choice you’re making. You can like something and still want to change it—acceptance doesn’t have to equal complacency. There are all kinds of forks in the road and one doesn’t necessarily have to be better than another, all it has to be is itself. So if all roads lead to maybe, why not enjoy the trip?
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