Questions + Answers

From Darren W.

Hi Allison!

Enjoyed your City Winery concert in NYC last year with my family. So fun to see you perform with your sister.

My question: Take me on a non-work vacation/trip that made a lasting impression on you.

Possible ideas, traveling abroad for the first time, meeting someone new, participating in a meaningful event, finding a great place for food, enjoying the beauty of a great destination, having fun in an unexpected city, or all of the above!

Bottom line: a fun travelogue to give me a sense of how you like to explore the world.

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Dear Darren,

What an interesting question.

I’ve been thinking about this all morning — how to answer? Do I pick one trip I’ve taken and describe it to you? Do I tell you about the first times I visited specific places? Do I describe the perfect trip as it exists in my mind? Do I tell you about all the places I’d like to visit and tell you why?

I’m not sure which path to take.

My work is responsible for most of the travel I’ve been allowed to do. My family didn’t have money, so vacations and trips during my childhood either had a destination which included family or friends we could stay with when we arrived or along the way, or a specific goal attached to them, such as when we would travel to Nashville to check out the music industry or to record. It was usually far from luxurious, or even basic. My father didn’t think it was out of the ordinary at all to pull over on the side of the interstate to take a nap instead of getting a hotel room for the four of us to sleep safely (I remember feeling the car move with every 18-wheeler that whooshed by), nor did he mind handing a bag of pork rinds and a can of Vienna sausages to my sister and me in the backseat to serve as lunch when we were on these excursions.

I’ll take this opportunity to say that I’ve overcorrected and love a nice hotel and appreciate a room service breakfast and coffee in bed if I can get it. I’ll also say that I can’t always have that, so I’m still quite grounded in reality.

The truth is, I don’t mind going anywhere if I have a few creature comforts — I’ll arrive at a (with any hope, clean) hotel room and immediately make it my own. I’ll light some incense or a candle, put my notebook and whatever I’m reading on the nightstand, and if I’m staying more than one night I’ll usually even unpack my suitcase so I feel the opposite of discombobulated. I think all of these rituals are about me making a home for myself, so that I feel as good as possible wherever I go. I probably developed those practices when I realized at some point, probably even subconsciously, that I would always move from place to place at least some, and sometimes not on my own accord. I recognize that I had behaviors like that even when I was a child — always figuring out how to make a nest. It is indicative of my attachment to things and my fear that I will arrive somewhere and not have what I need, but I recognize that, and am working on paring down the amount of physical stuff I need to feel comfortable.

I think few of us are really able to fully let go of the concept of and attachment to home when we leave it. We tend to keep one foot there no matter how far we roam. My sister and I like to say, “let’s go so we can get on back.” Which is hilarious, but also so true. Our grandfather used to park at the bottom of our aunt’s driveway because her house in Birmingham sits atop a little hill. He was afraid the driveway would ice over if it was cold weather and he wouldn’t be able to get on back to Frankville, Alabama when he was ready. It runs in the family. We want to go and see, but we like the view from the our porch the best.

Having said all of that, here are a few photos from a vacation I took with Hayes and his family last May that I absolutely loved. We took a cruise from Rome to Naples, then all through the Greek Isles and made one stop in Turkey, at Ephesus (10th century, B.C.). It was a wonderful trip. The sights were so beautiful, and the history is so rich. I think the best trips combine sensory, intellectual, and emotional delight, and this one provided all of that for me. Beauty, warmth, language, music, food, ancient history, religion, war, perseverance, the human spirit, love — all of the STORIES! I loved the trip. It was a true vacation — neither Hayes nor I took a guitar with us — and I felt closer to his family for having had the experience with them. It was a true blessing and I’m grateful for the opportunity I had to see a part of the world that probably wouldn’t have otherwise. And it’s worth noting that I did pack for two weeks in a carryon suitcase and a tote bag, so I’m getting better at not dragging too much stuff around! No baggage carousel for me if I can help it.

Travel is so good for us. It’s one of life’s true blessings to have a place to plant oneself, and to have that place to return to, but leaving the nest from time to time and getting out in the world to see how others do things differently from the way we do, and extending ourselves to the parts of humanity that we’re not used to only makes us more well-informed and open-minded, which ultimately leads to more compassion, doesn’t it?

I’m writing this from a plane, incidentally. I’m traveling with Hayes for one last jaunt before summer arrives. For some reason, my carryon didn’t want to zip easily this morning so I have to figure out what to situate when we get to the next town. I pride myself on never having to sit on my suitcase.

Have a glorious weekend.

Love,

Allison

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