Questions + Answers

From Erinn B.

Hello Allison,

This excerpt has been rolling around in my world the last few weeks now. Just read it again and it made me think of a question …

”Having a lover/friend who regards you as a living growing being, just as much as the tree from the ground, or a ficus in the house, or a rose garden out in the side yard … having a lover and friends who look at you as a true living breathing entity, one that is human but made of very fine and moist (🤣) and magical things as well … a lover and friends who support the criatura in you … these are the people you are looking for. They will be friends of your soul for life. Mindful choosing of friends and lovers, not to mention teachers, is critical to remaining conscious, remaining intuitive, remaining in charge of the firery light that sees and knows.” ~ Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Who have been among your greatest, most beautiful, teachers/mentors? Personally and/or professionally?

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Dear Erinn,

Thank you for another great question.

I have reached a point in my life where I consider most everyone with whom I’ve had a meaningful encounter a sort of teacher. I think if you look at it that way — that we are all here as guides for each other, then it encourages us to live in a way that requires of us our utmost and highest.

Having said that, I do think some have been more important than others. What they’ve taught me has ranged from what TO do but also what NOT TO do. The latter lessons have been the harder ones to learn. I think some people are put in our paths to mentor us — my first boss comes to mind, for instance, a woman who became a revered psychologist in her forties and allowed me to work in her front office scheduling appointments, filing insurance, etc. while I went to college. She taught me a lot of the good things I know about how to conduct oneself in the world. I’ve had a few really good songwriting and musical teachers, who shall remain unnamed in this answer, but I’ll think about coming back to it when I feel prepared to really dig into that and say who, how, and why. I have incredible friends who teach me on many levels every day. I consider my husband, Hayes, to be a very important teacher for me. I think the same of my son.

I also want to mention how important I think it is that we notice those who show us how and where not to go. I’ve been given so much grace in my life and have managed to stay somewhat unscathed by bad luck in my adulthood save for a few things, but I know it’s so easy to get caught up in a bad cycle with just a few wrong moves. I don’t look upon anyone as a cautionary tale, but I have noticed cause and effect in certain situations and tried to make sure I made sound choices. I have not always done that despite my best efforts.

Growing older comes with its concerns, no doubt. But I love the process of waking up to truths that were out of reach until now. One of those is that it is all worthwhile — every relationship is in our lives to reveal us to ourselves. That’s beautiful, and it gives me a bolstered respect for the relationship as an entity, almost with a life of its own and a part to play.

I hope y’all have a glorious weekend.

Peace. Love.

Allison

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