Questions + Answers
2022 Number 3
Hi Substack friends. I hope you enjoy this question and answer series, which I hope to post weekly, on Fridays. It means the world to me to have you here, so thank you again for joining me, and thank you for providing these great new questions. I’ll be answering them in the order they were received.
If you’d like to contribute a question, go to the post dated Feb 7, 2022 and leave it there.
Thank you, Alice, for this daunting question.
You always have so much wisdom to share in your posts. What is your overall philosophy of life that guides you through the day and/or expresses your perspective about the meaning of life?
Dear Alice,
You are kind to write that I am wise, but who among us feels so? I do not. I see myself as a bumbling, often struggling, very young soul here who has been lucky enough to get more than one crash course in what I think we’re supposed to be learning on this planet, which is empathy.
I believe that, learning empathy, is what I’m here to do and what I’m here to share. If life has a meaning, it is that. I believe in generational trauma, even if it just consists of the narratives that are created around us before we’re even born. We have to heal those. I believe, as we become more self-aware as human beings and as families, biological or chosen, we are headed in the right direction. It’s hard to see that some days, but I believe it. We don’t see individuals much, even in our social media and individualistic culture, but almost every person I know is working to improve their mental health, their relationships with themselves and their loved ones, and their ability to self-actualize.
Having said that, I wake up every day and wrestle with myself. My intention is to beat down lazy, judgmental, entitled, ignorant me but I don’t always overpower her. So, my philosophy ends up being, whatever works. I try to meditate and keep a journal about what comes up, I take an online course on personality disorders here and there, I do guided self-knowledge programs and read self-help books too. I have an altar at which I like to stare. I love to be in nature, watch my birds on their feeders, love on my dogs, work on my relationship with my husband, be the best mama I can be, be a good sister and friend — all of those things bring me closer to what I think God must be, which is a divine presence of goodness and love.
I hope that answer is sufficient for today. Isn’t that something that could become a daily practice? Writing a paragraph about your life philosophy each day? That’s an idea. It might help keep some of us between the ditches.
AM
3.11.2022
Thanks so much, Allison, for addressing my "weighty" question with such honesty and deep thought. I would agree that the "whatever works" scenario gets us through the day, and hopefully with some meaningful intention. Our philosophy of life probably changes constantly as we navigate through different circumstances. Mine has definitely evolved recently with the COVID crisis unexpectedly transforming our lives. Personally, my mindset revolves around my desire of "just trying to matter" and that's even a daily struggle. I love your idea about writing down your philosophy each day--it might add some clarification and help steer us in the right direction!
On another note, I just finished reading "I Dream He Talks to Me." I have newfound respect for your exceptional level of patience of compassion, although I expect nothing less of you. I realize this doesn't come easily to you or anyone, but so many valuable lessons unfold in this beautifully written story of love.
I also believe in inter-generational trauma. Every Armenian I know has it in spades thanks to the genocide a century ago. How can you not when you have such horror stories about your ancestors' deaths? Like you, I meditate. Meditation rewires the brain. I practice tapping, also known as emotional freedom technique, every morning, which rewires the brain. I make a choice each day that I will heal from my own childhood trauma and the trauma passed down to me.