My Sunday List
January 21, 2024
Words
Our reactions tell us what our mind has internalized from our past experiences. They are dense patterns that rise from the deep subconscious to protect us. This form of defense is not based on wisdom, but on survival. When we start expanding our self-awareness, we begin to see that in moments of turbulence we have more effective options than repeating blind behaviors, which produce limited results that generally wipe away our clarity and inner peace.
—Yung Pueblo
*The Substack of Yung Pueblo is highly recommended.
Song
We’ve been snowed in again since Friday afternoon. The temperature rose and then plummeted to recreate an even deeper freeze and as my Mama would say, it’s slicker than owl sh*t out there. So there have been plenty of fires in the fireplace and the tunes have been appropriate — jazz, low-fi beats, comforting sounds. One of the ways I’m reminded of the never-ending connection of all things in the universe is to consider how our bodies and minds and souls respond to nature. I don’t really want to hear the tunes I’d play at a backyard party when it’s cold outside and cozy inside — I want what goes along with the feeling of warmth, softness, and safety. Think about it — you too, right?
I watched
So many things. But I’m most excited about a show called Home on Apple TV — I got drawn in by episode 2, season 2: Mexico City: Casa de Carla y Pedro. Mexico City is one of my favorite places to visit, and I love the modern ideas about work/home balance in this episode. I’ve watched it twice. There is also the next one about a home in South Africa that was built without moving one single tree. Incredible.
Book
I’ve also been studying on this:
Thing
Shearling Birkenstock clogs. My sister gave me a pair for Christmas and I’ve barely worn anything else since.
What I’m wearing
Since I got home from my downright hellish journey from NYC that took all day Monday and all day Tuesday, I’ve been trying to take care of myself. I don’t bounce quite like I used to and honestly needed to recover from the stress I experienced. Luckily for me, it’s the right weather to do so and I’ve been bundled in my usual winter layers. It’s supposed to warm up into the high 50s this week and I’m looking forward to a bit of jacket, as opposed to coat, weather.
You know what I dislike most about dressing for ice and snow? The shoes. I’ve busted my butt more than a few times trying to navigate ice in a leather bottomed boot because I was trying to be cute when I got somewhere. I’m mostly too old and wise for that mess now. So, I get by with my trusty LL Beans when I have to go out. It’s a family tradition — that’s what my father wore, what his father wore, and what my sister and I wear in inclement weather. Here’s a photo from a coffee break with sister the other day. She cut her fingers whittling.
What I’m cooking
Blueberry and pecan muffins with a King Arthur gluten-free mix. This is a shockingly good muffin mix. Add in whatever you want and they’re ready in about 20 minutes.
Italian wedding soup. Classic and so wonderful and hearty on a cold day. Here’s a good recipe. Of course, I use frozen meatballs in mine — the tiny organic ones. But when I made a pot of this yesterday, I used a white bean from Rancho Gordo (my favorite food company at the moment), which I quick soaked that morning. I figure that makes up for the quick and dirty meatballs. I’ve used canned beans too, but going the extra mile on them makes a difference.
Old school tacos like you had when you were little and our knowledge of Mexican food was limited to El Paso seasoning kits. Sometimes you just get a craving, so we’ve been having old school taco night around here for a while. I love a hard shell as well as a warm tortilla, so we usually have both. But the ground beef is the same as it was in 1980, as is the grated cheddar and iceberg lettuce. Something about time travel on a plate just makes us smile.
Favorite Photo I Took This Week
Something about the pattern the snow made on these chairs is humanesque.
Where I went
Goodness gracious. Here’s the story.
On Sunday, I got a notice that Southwest had cancelled the flight I’d booked to take home from NYC on Monday. They are usually the first to cancel flights for any blip in the weather, so I quickly booked myself another flight home on American Airlines. I watched the status, and left for JFK the next morning with plenty of time to deal with any issues. I kept an eye on the weather in Nashville, which was bad, but planes were landing even though there were many cancellations. Well, just before 1pm, my first flight was cancelled and I was rebooked on the next one. At 3:30, the one I was to board at 4pm was cancelled. I then rebooked on a flight to Miami which was to connect to a flight to Nashville at 10:30pm. I doubted the Nashville flight would hold, but I wanted to get to a warmer climate because I knew the weather was headed east — I didn’t want to get stuck in NYC so I picked the lesser of two locations in which I don’t want to be stranded. While I was on the flight to Miami, the connection to Nashville cancelled. I knew I was stuck for the night at least. Hayes secured me another Southwest flight from Fort Lauderdale that was leaving the next morning, so I booked myself a hotel room near the Fort Lauderdale airport and took an Uber there — the lobby was full of folks in the same situation I was, including a a teacher who was chaperoning about 20 teenagers on a school trip that needed a place to sleep. I made it to my room and got a bit of rest. The next morning, I arrived at Fort Lauderdale airport with, again, plenty of time to navigate any problems. I checked in with the gate agent and was told that everything was running on time and Nashville was landing planes. I felt relieved. I sipped coffee and ate a grilled cheese from Starbucks. My anxiety started to lessen.
My calm was short lived. When all the passengers had boarded the completely full flight to Atlanta, the pilot came on to say that the plane had too much fuel, and that it was too heavy to fly to Atlanta. We got off the plane and went to a gate across the way that had a plane with less fuel, I guess. Of course, this took over 90 minutes. Of course, I missed my connection in Atlanta. Of course, Southwest took it upon themselves to book me on yet another flight that was going to Houston and I’d connect to a flight that might get me to Nashville at 10:30pm.
My patience, at that point, simply expired. I couldn’t do it anymore. I booked a rental car on my phone from the arrival gate in Atlanta and headed toward the Avis counter, only to be told on arrival that there were. no. cars.
But why was I able to book one?
Because those apps don’t know what we’re dealing with and everyone’s taking cars one-way (like I wanted to do).
I recounted what I’d been through to the angel agent.
Hold on, she said. I’m gonna find you a car.
And she did. She had to lie to the computer in a way that I’m forbidden to tell you about. And I left Atlanta at 3pm. I got home at 11:30pm. And I gained an hour.
I think it all took a few years off my life. I haven’t been far since.
What I did
After all of that, I did my best to take it easy.
What I made
Something wonderful I noticed
That I’m building on last week’s wonderful thing that I noticed — a solid connection to myself. I’m beginning to feel trust in myself and my general capability, which allows me to relax. Challenges keep coming, but I’m meeting them with a better sense of my intentions and a welcome looseness — there are all sorts of ways to do a lot of things and many of them are not only valid, they are also right. As in, all roads lead to maybe. I think of my path in life as a road with many forks, but I have a better sense of the ones that have guardrails. I’m trying to take those now, within reason.
What brought me joy
Laughing with my husband and my sister on these crazy, shut-in ice days.
Prayer
Thank you, Great Spirit, for giving me the strength to let go of everything I cannot control, which is everything outside of myself.
Intention for the week to come
May I be present before I am concerned with being anything else.
May I meet others with kindness and acceptance and still keep my boundaries.
May I feel confident enough in those boundaries to be flexible in my actions.
May I use my words for good.
May I be grateful for my blessings.
May I be open to the opportunities that show themselves to me.
May I conquer my fear.
Something I’m thinking about
How to flow from work to life and life to work without too many bumps.
How to accept that I am at the mercy of life and can still survive it (the serenity prayer helps with this one).
Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. — Buddha
Habit
Intentionally slowing down. I’m trying to notice when I’m rushing and ask why? Do I have a valid reason to be trying to go at top speed?
Wishes
That I recognize every opportunity to feel joy, and that I take each one.
That my fellow creatures do that too.
That you all are content and well.
That you will forward this to one person you think might like it.
Have a wonderful, peaceful, joyous week. And thank you for supporting my work here at The Autotelic.
Peace. Love.
Allison
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Lord.
That’s some story of travel trauma. I’m glad you’re home safe and sound. Also I thank you for the Nepo suggestion (which is in my nightstand now). Also, yay to shearling lined Birks. Also: whittling?
Your traveling ordeal was unbelievable. You did great handling it. And thank you for Mark Nepo's book selection, I just recieved my copy and am just past the intro and starting the first chapter. It's so good, already. Yes, nothing like good quality jazz, or other instrumentals relaxing at home. Thank you for all of this Sunday List. I love hearing how you are learning, it's beautiful and insightful. Hope your week is rich in love and kindness.