My Sunday List
November 03, 2024
Words
Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough. —Franklin D. Roosevelt
Music
This is a match made in music nerd heaven. I am a major fan of both these artists, and it’s so cool to hear this collaboration. Brilliant. Check it out.
I watched
I watched the latest episode of Disclaimer. What a sick scene. I’m fascinated by human behavior and like getting deep into the murk, as my friend Keith says. It’s a great practice to have deep and honest conversations with those trustworthy enough to handle them. It’s also good to remember that when you unravel the sweater you end up naked with a ball of yarn in your hand. The thing I like about this series is the willingness to make every character ugly. No one is winning any great person prizes in the world of Disclaimer. I tend to think people are generally pretty good and have good intentions. It has occurred to me lately that I might be at least a little naive in that respect, but I do hope these folks are outliers. However, part of the brilliance of the writing is how it reveals how easily we can climb to the top of the slippery slope then are suddenly speeding down it, out of control, having never intended for that to happen.
Book
I’m loving the new Sally Rooney book, Intermezzo. I just got a biography on Cy Twombly that looks delicious. I will never forget seeing his work at The Menil Collection in Houston. Life is good when it’s filled with good books. A few on my list to give as gifts this year are Falling Upward by Richard Rohr and CVJ by Julian Schnabel.
Favorite moments
Finding some time to spend in the studio with Kenny to work on Saint Seven. We both forgot we were so far along with our record. A lot has happened since we last worked on it in April. I guess that’s an understatement. What’s surprising is how I wrote about it all before it happened. I’ve done that before, but it always surprises me.
Halloween night with my coven.
I also voted on Halloween. So the whole day felt powerful. That was a good moment for sure. I’m grateful and proud to be able to vote.
What I’m wearing
Smiles. Pretty shoes. An imaginary crown on my head. My new favorite hat.
The way you do anything is the way you do everything.
Poem
A Settlement (Mary Oliver)
Look, it’s spring. And last year’s loose dust has turned into this soft willingness. The wind-flowers have come up trembling, slowly the brackens are up-lifting their curvaceous and pale bodies. The thrushes have come home, none less than filled with mystery, sorrow, happiness, music, ambition.
And I am walking out into all of this with nowhere to go and no task undertaken but to turn the pages of this beautiful world over and over, in the world of my mind.
***
Therefore, dark past, I’m about to do it.
I’m about to forgive you
for everything
I’m grateful for
love
healing
authenticity
trust
purpose
possessing pathways to joy
painting
enjoying my own company
reading in front of the fireplace and not minding doing it alone. Plus I’m not alone with two dogs and two cats.
music music music and the blessing of Kenny Greenberg and Saint Seven
animals
my family, blood and chosen, old and new.
my friends
those people who must be actual angels that keep showing up in my life.
What I made
I finished the painting I was working on for a charity auction then started another. I also rearranged my studio and freshened up the energy in my house. I’m one of those people who never stops moving things around.
Favorite photo of the week:
What brought me joy
Waking up without anxiety + leaves on the ground + jumbo blueberries + looking at cookbooks and thinking about cold weather dishes+ ordering the gumbo for Thanksgiving + dreaming up schemes for the holidays to make John Henry’s memories special and magical + enjoying quiet and stillness.
Prayer
Thank you, Great Spirit, for the life you give me every day. Thank you for the blessing of my son, my sister, my family both biological and chosen. Thank you for the blessing of this experience, even when it seems like the hard times are too hard and too many. I know I must walk through periods of difficulty in order to learn what I need to learn until I transmute the lessons and see that every encounter with my woundedness is an opportunity to address it, not to try to numb the pain. Remind me to turn to you with every breath. Please strengthen my faith so I might turn all things over to you and the wisdom to know you will work miracles in me through whatever you place in my blessed path. Remind me my choices determine my experiences and my lessons can come through positive ones rather than the opposite. Allow me to gracefully release what is not meant for me and to hold tightly and lovingly to what is. Allow me to be open to change every day as you remind me it is the only constant besides you. Allow me to repair what is broken. Allow me awareness of my dissociative tendencies and keep me present so I may make choices that reflect the life I desire. Allow me clarity, focus, and courage. Allow me to rise to my highest vibration each day and spread truth and beauty wherever I go. May I learn how to truly forgive. With deep gratitude I pray that your will, and not mine, shall be done.
Intention for the week to come
May I be present and fully inhabit my mind, spirit, and physical body.
May I walk through the world with an open heart and without judgment.
May I be curious and ask questions before I decide.
May I breathe peace in, and breathe love out.
May I be humble and see myself clearly so I may accept my limitations while working to lovingly decrease them. May my progress be reflected through my actions, seen and unseen.
May I have the self-possession and grace to meet others with the kindness and acceptance I desire for myself.
May I find the flexibility in myself to gracefully accept the imperfections of life and not take inconveniences personally.
May I think before I speak.
May I think MORE than I speak.
May I first do no harm.
May I be grateful for what I have and may I not seek more for my selfish gain.
May I allow myself to trust but may I also always use my discernment.
May I have CLARITY and find a way to be CALM about it.
May I be patient.
May my vibration resonate in harmony with the universe.
May I remember it isn’t about me.
May I do good work.
May I have optimism and positive thoughts.
May I be open to what the Great Spirit knows is for me, and may I walk my path accordingly by remembering I can only take it one step at a time.
Something I’m thinking about
How self-awareness is the ultimate superpower.
Think about it: if I am rigorously honest with myself about who I am and how I show up in the world, I have nothing to be afraid of when it comes to interacting with others.
If I can be aware of my faults – I’m driven by my emotions, I struggle with deep abandonment issues, I have trouble with trust so I overdo, people-please, develop resentment, and withdraw – then no one pointing them out to me is going to hurt me. I can simply acknowledge the truth and say, “yes, I do have that tendency and I’m aware of it. I hope to lessen it with each passing day.”
But if I deny my faults through any means – lying to myself, making sure those around me are people who won’t call me on my blindspots, lying to others about who I really am – then I am threatened with the idea that anyone else might point them out. That’s when criticism can’t be taken, when walls of defensiveness go up, when the problem becomes the recognition of the thing instead of the thing itself because if we talked about the thing itself the thing would have to change and that’s too tall an order.
I see it as a pathway toward living the best life possible. What is my life if it isn’t honest? A bunch of nothing. If it is honest, I stand a chance at looking back on my life with at least a little satisfaction.
Also: reverse engineering to figure out the approach. As in asking myself what I want the outcome to be in a situation before I begin finding the route or solution. I’ve started trying to figure out how I want to feel about something when I look back on it. Then what I have to do to get there is much clearer.
Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. — Buddha
Habit
I’m still finding the most comfortable way to meditate, but I’ve been pursuing the meditative state. There’s a certain pleasure derived from seeking nothing. Shunyata=emptiness. And emptiness is also fulfillment.
Wishes
That we all are and will be well.
That we all are loved.
That we all put our pasts behind us every minute.
That we all have a glorious and fulfilling week.
That everyone who reads this will feel peace in at least some small way.
That you will forward this to one person you think might like it.
Have a wonderful, peaceful, joyous week. And thank you for supporting my work here at The Autotelic.
Peace. Love.
Allison
There are first edition copies of I Dream He Talks to Me and Blood in the shop. I will sign each copy that is ordered. If you would like it personalized, please send an email with your order number and the name you would like on the signature page to allisonmoorercontact@gmail.com.
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I look forward to reading about your Sundays every week. Thank you for always coming through for me.
I have a feeling you woke up with anxiety today…