My Sunday List

July 02, 2023

Quote

Think of the soul as source and created things as springs. While the source exists, the springs continually flow. —Rumi

Song

Life According to Raechel — Spotify Singles by Madison Cunningham.

This woman blows me away.

I watched

The Bear on Hulu.

Goodness gracious, this is the best show I’ve seen in eons. I want to go back and watch it again from Season one, Episode one. It’s just such fine storytelling. It isn’t good for my panic disorder — these are some seriously stressed out folks — but it is astoundingly well done. We finished season two last night.

Book

I read at a lot of different things. Here’s a stack that’s major inspiration for my artwork.

The Diary of Frida Kahlo, The Cosmic Dance, Hilma AF Klint Notes and Methods, Waterlife.

Thing

This aquarium I’m setting up in the library for John Henry. He’s a typical teen in that he spends a lot of time in his bedroom these days. I wanted something to draw him into the community areas of the house, and I think this might do the trick. It’s a work in progress at the moment — and I hope it’s a long term fun project for us. This aquarium, by BiOrb, is so beautiful and has such a zen vibe. I’m going to add our greenery and things today, and then the last step will be the fish, which we’ll get when we return from adventure camp and other travels in mid-August.

Favorite Photo I Took This Week

This is only part of the seriously middle earth-looking tangle of vines that was growing on a tree just across our fence. Nature is the ultimate artist.

Prayer

Thank you, Great Spirit, for the blessings you allow my family and me. Please keep your hand on us as we travel this week and allow us joyous adventures and safe landings.

Intention for the week to come

May I flow.

Something I’m thinking about:

How stillness feels like movement.

As I learn to recognize what allows me to feel grounded, I’m discovering how much I dig the feeling. I told my EMDR therapist the other day that the only way I could really describe it with a word would be to call it, simply, trippy. When I’m able to achieve the feeling I’m looking for, it feels like the world is moving instead of me. In those moments, I can feel the connectedness of everything and can simply observe the wonder.

Trippy, indeed. Listen to this and think on it.

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Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. — Buddha

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Habit

Taking time to clear emotional energy and not letting channels become blocked with anger and resentment. Which means, for me, to stop and process what’s going on when I feel discomfort rise before I take anything up with anyone but myself and my higher power. This boundary is a gift to myself — I’m learning to give myself space to feel without involving anyone else. It gives me the gift of autonomy.

One of my goals for myself in this second half of life is to become a person who responds rather than reacts. I’m starting to notice that I react less and less these days, and it’s becoming possible to sit with something uncomfortable that rises in me instead of always feeling an unbearable urgency to do something about it so I can get it dealt with and over as soon as possible. Allowing my feelings is something I never learned to do — no one taught me how to handle them, so all I know about them is that they overwhelm me and are therefore dangerous and must be projected or blamed on someone. Life doesn’t always have to be so heavy, even when serious stuff is going down. It really is all in how you see a thing. I have a long way to go, of course, but I have hope that I can one day become someone who can always be counted on to be rational, measured, and still passionate.

Wishes

1. That I find ways to bring joy and beauty to every day.

2. That I take good care of my son, nurture my family and home, make good art, and keep myself clear of negative emotions.

3. That I meet others with love, even when I know I’m dealing with their trauma and not the real them.

4. That you will forward this to one person and that person becomes a subscriber too.

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Have a wonderful, peaceful, joyous week. And thank you for supporting my work here at The Autotelic.

Lots of love,

Allison

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