My Sunday List
May 21, 2023
Quote
People may call what happens at midlife 'a crisis,' but it's not. It's an unraveling - a time when you feel a desperate pull to live the life you want to live, not the one you're 'supposed' to live. The unraveling is a time when you are challenged by the universe to let go of who you think you are supposed to be and to embrace who you are. —Brené Brown
Song
Do What You Gotta Do by Roberta Flack. This came up in a Spotify playlist the other day and I was reminded, yet again, what a powerhouse Ms. Flack is. So smooth, so soulful and matter-of-fact at the same time. I love this whole album — she made good ones, and this tune in particular hits me just right. Feels like letting go of something.
I watched
I finished watching this series last night. It fell apart at the end for me — things seemed to get a little murky with the narrative and there was suddenly some serious overacting going on, but all in all, I thoroughly enjoyed it. In a sort of guilty pleasure way, but also not. The styling is spot on and the costumes are killer too. The music is pretty great too.
Book
Pico Iyer’s The Half Known Life. Yes — I’m still on this. I set it down when we got back from Tulum and haven’t picked it up again — I’ve been doing a lot of processing and painting. I hope to return to it today.
Thing
This photo of my sister and me taken by my dear friend Libby Callaway. This was Thursday night at Shelby’s show at 3rd & Lindsley (with Mandy Barnett and Emily West — they brought the house down). I’ll also point out that I’ve had that dress I’m wearing for about twenty years. It’s been hanging on a rail waiting to make a comeback as vintage for about seventeen of those. I don’t talk about my love of fashion and style here very much, but maybe I should as it’s a big part of my true self, I think — I’ve always been drawn to clothes, getting dressed, what it all means and how it all makes us feel. It’s also a connection to my mother, who shared my love of great clothes. To be continued. And anyway, I love this photograph. Thank you, Libby.
Favorite Photo I Took This Week
Sometimes getting lost in details makes me feel safe in a way nothing else will. Maybe it’s dissociative, but not all defense mechanisms are meant to be done away with — some really do help us on our way. My love of detail and sinking into it allows my brain to get a rest from other things. Maybe the important thing is just to acknowledge the adaptations or tendencies, thank them, and keep them in the proper perspective — to use as helpers, not hurters.
Prayer
Thank you, Great Spirit, for forgiveness, for growth, and for showing me what I need to see.
Intention for the week to come
May I find compassion and empathy for myself as I continue to dive deeper into healing work. May I allow that work to be the center and purpose of my life without apology.
Something I’m thinking about:
That Chipping Away exercise I posted on Wednesday and how I’m going to follow it up. There’s good stuff to be learned there.
Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. — Buddha
Habit
Consciously shifting my awareness from my mind to the center of my body.
Wishes
That I have a successful week managing my emotions, feeling balanced, and remembering how to stay calm.
That I make good art.
That I get everything done that I need to in preparation for John Henry’s arrival home for the summer.
That you’ll check out Autotelic Artworks instagram.
That you will forward this to one person and that person becomes a subscriber too.
Have a wonderful, peaceful, joyous week. And thank you for supporting my work here at The Autotelic.
Lots of love,
Allison
Brene Brown really hits home with this message. The universe is a time when you are challenged by the universe to let go of what you think you are supposed to be and embrace who you are. So true. So true.
I listened to Roberta Flack this morning at the office and closed my eyes and got lost in her voice and phrasing and the great band. She’s a treasure. Love the photo of you and your sister. Love vintage clothes! Beautiful dress!
Love the Henna Hamsa. Love your detail. You’re very creative.
Enjoy your son coming home.
You have a great sense of style, which goes with your other keen sensibilities. One positive thing about getting older is that you don’t care as much what people think of you. It’s a little easier to be yourself without apology.
Roberta Flack’s soulful sound also reveals her good soul—a huge animal lover with a big heart. I was involved with a kitten rescue organization for many years and she always helped us out.