Timely! I was finally climbing onto bed, anxiety setting in over never getting caught up when I thought I have not checked my email in two days. Your brilliant writing was the first email I opened. I feel better knowing I am not alone. I put my two severely autistic sons to bed and then remembered I forgot to shave one of them. Tomorrow they return to their day programs, one in Andover, one in Medford, I am driving them as I took the summer off from being a severe special needs early childhood teacher in Lawrence, Massachusetts-the immigrant city. ICE raids the past school year almost caused me a nervous breakdown. Then to Arlington, to help my only sibling, my big sister with stage 4 bone and breast cancer. Then back to two programs to pick up my boys. You made me feel not alone and Thank you kindly for that Allison xo
Alison, great to see the peaches, John Henry , and you! Love hearing little details of what you’re up to, the highs and lows … happy summer, peaches & tomatoes, being a mama, and finding the art in all around us
I can feel all the goodness around you and I love it for you! JH looks strong & happy… and sharing camp activities together makes that time even more special! Way to go!
Congratulations for figuring out the weed eater string. There is something so satisfying about working in the yard and making things better 😊. Taking care of your castle, the one place in the world that holds you safe is so important. Proud of you for managing every little thing.
Love both outfits you shared. JCrew is always a quality buy.
You look great Allison. Fit & strong. So important!
Thank you for writing. I smiled reading it. GREAT work
Your point about meeting John Henry where he is is well taken, and I wish my parents had seen things that way.
It's one of life's great ironies how people on the spectrum, especially those of their generation, who were never diagnosed, can be extremely rigid (and blind to their own eccentricity).
Every time I ask my dad about an interaction with one of his relatives, he'll describe as strange, unusual, etc. He's so close!!
My mom has snapped at me my whole life when my leg shakes or I rock. It's totally hatmless, and it's ironic coming from a woman who picks her fingers bloody and talks to herself like Rain Man. My dad thinks I'm a kook for saying goofy stuff, which is rich coming from a man who called me fat by saying my zodiac sign is buffet.
At a brunch after my sister's wedding, her brother-in-law burst out "too close" and went to sit by himself. I was amazed no one said a word. My parents would've eviscerated me.
The other thing about acceptance vs a critical way of parenting is that the latter doesn't work, for a few reasons. The first is the crying wolf problem: if damn near everything makes your parents explode, their reactions to you stop registering.
The other is that you start to build a protective shell by dismissing them, even when they're right. The only way my psyche could cope with constant, often belligerent criticism was to decide these people were out of their minds and place no value on what they said.
If you're going to get through to someone about how they should, you have to do it in a way that doesn't threaten to eviscerate their personhood. Acceptance is a huge part of that.
Being with a partner who loves and accepts me has allowed me to grow and change quite quickly, and a lot of it is things my parents have been on me about my whole life. Paying attention to my appearance, cleaning up. I had a hoarding problem, and I've gotten rid of hundreds of comics, books and magazines. The other day, she said, "Now you're the neat one!"
Timely! I was finally climbing onto bed, anxiety setting in over never getting caught up when I thought I have not checked my email in two days. Your brilliant writing was the first email I opened. I feel better knowing I am not alone. I put my two severely autistic sons to bed and then remembered I forgot to shave one of them. Tomorrow they return to their day programs, one in Andover, one in Medford, I am driving them as I took the summer off from being a severe special needs early childhood teacher in Lawrence, Massachusetts-the immigrant city. ICE raids the past school year almost caused me a nervous breakdown. Then to Arlington, to help my only sibling, my big sister with stage 4 bone and breast cancer. Then back to two programs to pick up my boys. You made me feel not alone and Thank you kindly for that Allison xo
Wow.. good luck w everything 🙏🏽❤️
All the flowers to you Patti 🌺. Prayers of love & healing for your sister.
MRG was especially wacky for me this time. My TV and cable acted up several times, and so did my phone. Don’t know why Mr Mercury was so mad at me.
loved ur story this week ur a very good writer and enjoy ur son and the rest of summer ur a great mom!!
Alison, great to see the peaches, John Henry , and you! Love hearing little details of what you’re up to, the highs and lows … happy summer, peaches & tomatoes, being a mama, and finding the art in all around us
❤️ love Susanna
Good morning Allison
I can feel all the goodness around you and I love it for you! JH looks strong & happy… and sharing camp activities together makes that time even more special! Way to go!
Congratulations for figuring out the weed eater string. There is something so satisfying about working in the yard and making things better 😊. Taking care of your castle, the one place in the world that holds you safe is so important. Proud of you for managing every little thing.
Love both outfits you shared. JCrew is always a quality buy.
You look great Allison. Fit & strong. So important!
Thank you for writing. I smiled reading it. GREAT work
xo
You're a good mama
Your point about meeting John Henry where he is is well taken, and I wish my parents had seen things that way.
It's one of life's great ironies how people on the spectrum, especially those of their generation, who were never diagnosed, can be extremely rigid (and blind to their own eccentricity).
Every time I ask my dad about an interaction with one of his relatives, he'll describe as strange, unusual, etc. He's so close!!
My mom has snapped at me my whole life when my leg shakes or I rock. It's totally hatmless, and it's ironic coming from a woman who picks her fingers bloody and talks to herself like Rain Man. My dad thinks I'm a kook for saying goofy stuff, which is rich coming from a man who called me fat by saying my zodiac sign is buffet.
At a brunch after my sister's wedding, her brother-in-law burst out "too close" and went to sit by himself. I was amazed no one said a word. My parents would've eviscerated me.
Last month, I had my mom on speaker, and lit into so viciously about my tendency to break stuff she made my partner cry. 😞
I have a feeling you've seen some of these family dynamics.
Nothing like a quiet morning, a cup of coffee and an Alison post to start the day off right.
Enjoyed the photos of you and John Henry.
if u don't mind s suggestion if hire a yard work person it's very hard work1! just wanting to give some good advice.
I work really hard at my job that when I have free time during the weekend I feel a sense of guilt.
The more you know, the less you need. Think I'll carry this with me for a long time.
The other thing about acceptance vs a critical way of parenting is that the latter doesn't work, for a few reasons. The first is the crying wolf problem: if damn near everything makes your parents explode, their reactions to you stop registering.
The other is that you start to build a protective shell by dismissing them, even when they're right. The only way my psyche could cope with constant, often belligerent criticism was to decide these people were out of their minds and place no value on what they said.
If you're going to get through to someone about how they should, you have to do it in a way that doesn't threaten to eviscerate their personhood. Acceptance is a huge part of that.
Being with a partner who loves and accepts me has allowed me to grow and change quite quickly, and a lot of it is things my parents have been on me about my whole life. Paying attention to my appearance, cleaning up. I had a hoarding problem, and I've gotten rid of hundreds of comics, books and magazines. The other day, she said, "Now you're the neat one!"