My Sunday List
June 22, 2025 || The weekend of my fifty-third birthday (LIII) || The twenty-fifth weekend of 2025
Words
“To live at least long enough to know all human customs and events; to retrieve all of life that has passed, since we are denied that which will come; to pull yourself together before you disappear, to be worthy of your own birth; to think of the sacrifices made at the expense of others’ every breath; to not glorify suffering, even though you are alive because of it, to only keep for yourself that which cannot be given away until it is ripe for others and hands itself on, to hate every person’s death as if it were your own, and to at least be at peace with everything, but never death.” —Elias Canetti
Arthur Grimm/United Archives/Getty Images
Music
I’ve been immersed in the world of country music from the 1940s and 50s for the past week or so. The museum is doing a new coffee table book and I’ll have an essay in it, so I’ve been gathering all of my sources and researching what was what and who was who. Interestingly enough, I did a presentation for MCA Records the other day, so I’ve done quite a bit of research on the 1940s-50s years already, at least where Decca and MCA are concerned. It’s interesting to install a new world of knowledge in your working brain—I thought I knew a lot about country music history this time last year but I knew about a thimble’s worth compared to now. It’s a privilege to get older and still feel up to the challenge of staying fresh.
Here’s a suggested playlist—I’ll leave the platform choice up to you:
“Hey, Good Looking,” Hank Williams
“Walkin’ After Midnight” Patsy Cline
“You Are My Sunshine” Jimmie Davis
“Walkin’ the Floor Over You” Ernest Tubb
“Tumbling Tumbleweeds” Sons of the Pioneers
“Long Black Veil” Lefty Frizell
“Mule Skinner Blues” Bill Monroe
“Crazy Arms” Ray Price
“Cold, Cold Heart” Hank Williams
“Blue Moon of Kentucky” Elvis Presley
“Crazy” Patsy Cline
Joy
Eating birthday cake.
Eating birthday cake twice in one day because it’s delicious and your sister made it for you.
Buttermilk pound cake with fresh raspberry glaze. So delicious. My sister got the baking gene. I didn’t. Playing Cards Against Humanity with hilarious people and laughing so hard I thought I’d pass out.
The way you do anything is the way you do everything.
Inspiration Card of the Day
Well, today I decided to do a past, present, and future pull from The Fountain Tarot, a deck I use often. Here’s what happened:
The guide book says, in essence, that my past and in some ways my present is embedded with chaos, which is true. I have a fifteen-year-old in my home who needs more support than I have energy or time. Being John Henry’s mama is a full-time job, and now that I have another full-time job away from the house, I’m left with no time for myself at all. There was a season I pushed through, but that season has passed, and I now must put myself nearer the top of the priority list, lest I have nothing to give anything or anyone. The middle card, five of wands, tells me to stand strong and overcome the current obstacles. The future card, the Star, says “All is well. The star invites you to rest and heal. She is a glimmer of hope, a light in the darkness, a compass to right your course, and assistance when you most need it. She is a glowing reminder from the universe that everything is in order and occurs in its own time. You are entering a stage of calm, so use it wisely to identify (and commit to) what’s important, for the Star is a card of possibilities and potential futures. She will guide you even when you falter, but you must keep your eye on her light.” Meaning: “a time of healing, hope, unexpected guidance, reconciliation between the past and the present, a very promising potential, the need for persistent focus.”
That certainly resonates. I’ve said a time or two lately that I feel as if I’m being tested. I’m being asked how willing I am to make choices that reflect the life I want. In the land of no accidents, which is the land in which I live, situations and people show up in our lives for a reason. It feels like this season of my life is about challenge, and it’s imperative that I focus on what is essential so I can rise to it. Interesting.
Gratitude
Strength.
Purpose.
Resources.
People who remember and celebrate my birthday.
Desires
To move forward. When I turned fifty-two, I was in pain. Reeling from the breakup of my eleven-year relationship, everything felt close to the bone for a while. But for the first time in my life, I developed some decent boundaries and determined not to step backwards for any reason, and that certitude gave me what I needed to begin to heal the wounds. I’m in a different place on the completion of my fifty-third year. I’m stronger, more confident and self-assured, more accomplished, and more myself than I’ve ever been. My life is full and it keeps me on my toes for sure, but I like where I’m headed these days: living more fearlessly, with an open heart but with a new and developing wisdom assuring me I can be 100% responsible for myself, digging deep and using my brain and creativity, but also realizing I have limits and I need to give less of myself away.
Healing the wounds of my subconscious. I’ve made a few realizations about my shadow self lately, about the “ugly, needy, envious, unreasonable abandoned child stuff”—that’s how I described it in the notebook where I write out my thoughts. That dark matter has been in charge too often in my life, and I’m beginning to face how and why.
Prayer
Let me be good. Let me remember to talk to you and hear what you have to say to me. Let me value your divine knowing over anything and everything else, over anyone and everyone’s opinion. Let me be choosy about the counsel I seek. Let me be loyal, kind, and compassionate to my friends and family. Let me use good judgment and strength of character in every moment. Let me never forget that each breath is a gift from you, from this universe, from the miracle that is this moment of perfect combustion. Let me be strong in my faith. Let me receive inspiration. Most of all, let me love and be loved.
Intention for the week to come
May I be the best version of myself at every opportunity.
May I be patient. May I be kind.
May I have self-awareness.
May I clear clutter from my life.
May I welcome change.
May I love unconditionally.
May I slow down my emotions and keep them at arms length. They are clues—not answers, not truth.
Something I’m thinking about
Taking a vacation.
I can’t pick up and go like I once could. That’s fine and I was ready for it. But it has recently set down on me that I have a finite amount of time to do things, I don’t want to waste a day, and my time is precious. How much of it am I willing to give to less than deserving receptacles?
Framing it that way really makes me think. Life becomes sweeter, I think, as we grow older and bolder, if we’re lucky enough to learn how to let it.
Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. — Buddha
DO NOT EVER LET THE BASTARDS GET YOU DOWN.
Wishes
That we all receive the love we deserve.
That we all find comfort and peace.
That we all find time for the things that soothe us.
That you will forward this to one person you think might like it.
Have a wonderful, peaceful, joyous week. And thank you for supporting my work here at The Autotelic.
Peace. Love.
Allison
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I’m really glad you were born. ❤️
Happy belated birthday Ms Allison🌹