My Sunday List
October 06, 2024
Words
Life is continual creation, i.e. the formation of new, higher forms. When this formation comes to a stop in our view or even goes backwards, i.e. when existing forms are destroyed, this only means a new form is taking shape, invisible to us. We see what is outside us, but we don’t see what is within us, we only feel it (if we haven’t lost our consciousness, and don’t take what is visible and external to be the whole of our life). A caterpillar sees itself shrivel up, but doesn’t see the butterfly which flies out of it. —Leo Tolstoy
Music
You simply can’t beat Patty Griffin. I’ve been listening to this one a lot lately.
I watched
My own thoughts.
This is an interesting practice: when I can manage to sit still in the quiet, of course my brain starts to freak out with discomfort. I slow the thoughts down as much as I can and imagine them inside a text bubble that’s floating up and away from me which I then pop with a super-long straight pin. It somehow takes away the gravity of all those stupid things I think.
Book
Around me right now as I write this list:
Falling Upward, Richard Rohr
A Manual for Cleaning Women, Lucia Berlin
The Road to Character, David Brooks
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD
Favorite moments
There were many good ones. Exciting developments at work. Good times and laughs with friends new and old. Skippetty-paps. Getting dressed up with some gals for a fashion shindig. This is my friend Savannah who has very good legs. She’s in her own designs plus a few killer accessories and I’m in vintage YSL and Paul Smith sandals from 2005.
What I’m wearing
I’m still living in summer basics because of the weather but am adding in some transitional pieces like lightweight sweaters, chunky cotton (and cool) knits, and more scarves for layering. I’m eyeing the jackets in my closet like they’re donuts behind glass and I’m a sugar addict. I’m particularly excited about pulling out the wool tweed hacking jacket I invested in last year. The evening look in the photo above was the high point of my week. And at this moment I’m still in my pajamas.
The way you do anything is the way you do everything.
Poem
give like the earth
be flexible like water
protect yourself like fire
be boundless like air
—yung pueblo
I’m grateful for
love
healing
authenticity
trust
What I made
I put some poke tune over some steamed white rice with cilantro and a little bit of tamari. Delicious. Next time I won’t forget the pickled ginger.
a few lists of things to do.
plans.
Here’s a Sam Callaway gallery.
What brought me joy
I’ve been playing Where’s Waldo with joy. I challenge myself to find it in every situation. Right now it’s still pretty early morning and I lit a candle for my prayers and journaling. The joy in this room is plentiful — a black and white photo of my son smirking + a clown I drew with charcoal when I was getting a fashion studies certificate at Parsons + tarot cards + some instrumental jams coming through the speaker.
Prayer
Thank you, Great Spirit, for the life you give me every day. Thank you for the blessing of my son. Thank you for the blessing of this experience, even when it seems like the hard times are too hard and too many. Remind me to turn to you with every breath. Please strengthen my faith so I might turn all things over to you and the wisdom to know you will work miracles in me through whatever you place in my blessed path. Allow me to gracefully release what is not meant for me and to hold tightly and lovingly to what is. Allow me to be open to change every day as you remind me it is the only constant besides you. Allow me clarity, focus, and courage. Allow me to rise to my highest vibration each day and spread truth and beauty wherever I go. With deep gratitude I pray that your will, and not mine, shall be done.
Intention for the week to come
May I be present and fully inhabit my mind, spirit, and physical body.
May I walk through the world with an open heart and without judgment.
May I be curious and ask questions before I decide.
May I breathe peace in, and breathe love out.
May I be humble and see myself clearly so I may accept my limitations while working to lovingly decrease them.
May I have the self-possession and grace to meet others with the kindness and acceptance I desire for myself.
May I find the flexibility in myself to gracefully accept the imperfections of life and not take inconveniences personally.
May I think before I speak.
May I think MORE than I speak.
May I first do no harm.
May I be grateful for what I have and may I not seek more for my selfish gain.
May I allow myself to trust but may I also always use my discernment.
May I have CLARITY and find a way to be CALM about it.
May I be patient.
May my vibration resonate in harmony with the universe.
May I remember it isn’t about me.
May I do good work.
May I have optimism and positive thoughts.
May I be open to what the Great Spirit knows is for me, and may I walk my path accordingly by remembering I can only take it one step at a time.
Something I’m thinking about
My second mountain. As I’ve said before, I think I’m at the foot. But what I know now that I didn’t know last week was the mountain I’m facing is me.
I don’t want to live the second half of my life like I lived the first. In order to do that, I have to develop more self-discipline, but not in the way of restricting myself or holding myself to a too rigorous way of being. It’s the opposite. I need self-discipline with my thoughts and with loving myself. In ACA it’s called having emotional sobriety. Like a drunk with a bottle, I sometimes don’t know when to stop spiraling down the well of negative thought and self-hatred until I get to the very bottom. And that’s a sad place to be, sitting at the bottom of a well with nothing but scorn for yourself.
My challenge is to learn how to conquer myself. To lose my ego and live in authenticity. To learn to resist the temptation of twisting myself into a foreign shape for any person so they will be pleased with me, like me, stay with me, or not discard me. To see my worth and to take care of it like it’s a priceless substance, because it is. To recognize those who have siphoned my energy and hold strong boundaries against their access. To allow myself to shine fully in my own light without shame, without partner, without need of caveat. I have no excuses for who I am and don’t deserve or expect any. I got here on purpose, whether I knew it or not. My second mountain is fully embracing the self-respect that self-knowledge requires.
Self-respect doesn’t ask for exceptions.
Everybody’s got their something. I’ve got mine. And the only way out is, you guessed it, t h r o u g h.
Sometimes hurt feels good. That pain is self-recognition.
Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. — Buddha
Best Dolly Parton quote this week:
These pants are so tight if I fart my wig’s gonna blow off.
Habit
Sister Sue caught me in the act. This is a brilliant way to add a little pep to the middle of the day. That’s Jett, my nephdog.
Wishes
That we all are and will be well.
That we all are loved.
That we all put our pasts behind us every minute.
That we all have a glorious and fulfilling week.
That you will forward this to one person you think might like it.
Have a wonderful, peaceful, joyous week. And thank you for supporting my work here at The Autotelic.
Peace. Love.
Allison
There are first edition copies of I Dream He Talks to Me and Blood in the shop. I will sign each copy that is ordered. If you would like it personalized, please send an email with your order number and the name you would like on the signature page to allisonmoorercontact@gmail.com.
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Love Patty Griffin’s work, too — especially this album. For me, “Rain” is one of the most moving songs ever.
That Sam Callaway is a piece of work. Too adorable for words. ❤️