My Sunday List

June 25, 2023

Quote

I am afraid that the closer we get to the Light, more of our shadow we see. Thus, truly holy people are always humble people. Invariably when something upsets us, and we have a strong emotional reaction out of proportion to the moment, our shadow self has just been exposed. So, watch for any overreactions or over denials. The reason that a mature or saintly person can be so peaceful, so accepting of self and others, is that there is not much left of the hidden shadow self. —Richard Rohr

Song

Paper Thin by Lianne La Havas. I’m enjoying this whole self-titled album. Great grooves, playing, and singing. Take a listen.

I watched

The first episode of And Just Like That. It was embarrassingly bad. I have a soft spot for the OG Sex & The City, but after the first movie they just lost it, I’m afraid. I might cringe through the other episodes because Jon Corbett’s coming back as Aidan, apparently. Maybe he’ll loosen things up.

Book

Practicing Peace, by Pema Chodron. Yes, I mentioned it last week too. The concept of shenpa has stuck with me. I feel it rise in me all the time. All the time as in every other minute. Knowing it allows me to name it and work with it, not deny it and make myself feel bad for having it. I think knowing that every human being struggles with shenpa and that it threatens to take them over allows me to accept and allow my humanity. And grace and forgiveness start there, with the self.

Thing

Iced coffee. My first cup of the day has to be hot, but I’ve been having cups two through four over ice lately, which is delicious and refreshing.

Also — peaches, peaches, peaches. I stand over the sink and peel them and eat them right there with the juice dripping down my hands. What a beautiful, sensuous gift a ripe piece of fruit is.

how pretty are they on this tray?

Favorite Photo I Took This Week

My lilies finally bloomed. I’m just ecstatic that I can put a bulb in the ground and this comes up.

Prayer

Thank you, Great Spirit, for allowing me the resources I need to recover, to grow, and to heal. Thank you for the guidance you offer and the gift of this earthly experience. Lead me toward love and courage and away from fear and anxiety every minute.

Intention for the week to come

May I allow myself to relax during this blessed time of family and home, may I allow myself rest when I need it, and may my journey continue to grow into one of diligence, reverence, revelation, and love.

Something I’m thinking about:

Digging into that shadow self Richard Rohr describes at the top of this list. I want to know more about why I have overreactions or over denials to certain things. I find fear of abandonment underneath almost every surface emotion that I have. The more I increase my self-trust and self love, the more that fear eases, because what I know is, we have to leave this world by ourselves. My own tender voice and loving hand — that’s what I would like to comfort me the most. That doesn’t mean I can’t find comfort and joy in relationships with others, but it does mean the only perfect relationship I can have is the one I have with myself.

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Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. — Buddha

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Habit

Seeking stillness. It isn’t solitude, it isn’t quiet, it’s a place that I am cultivating in my center.

Wishes

1. That I find ways to bring joy and beauty to every day.

2. That I take good care of my son, nurture my family and home, make good art, and keep myself clear of negative emotions.

3. That I meet others with love, even when I know I’m dealing with their trauma and not the real them.

4. That you will forward this to one person and that person becomes a subscriber too.

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Have a wonderful, peaceful, joyous week. And thank you for supporting my work here at The Autotelic.

Lots of love,

Allison

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