Life and loss

still, the sun rises

My friend Brian died. I got the news from our mutual friend Libby, who introduced us years ago at a vintage show in Manhattan. It was 2014. Brian was charismatic, smart, charming, and immediately fun. We connected immediately. We didn’t see each other often but when we did we spent most of our time together laughing or talking about selvedge or something.

Brian did all kinds of work in the fashion and design industry but also the handbuilt motorcycle world, something I know zero about except that I like the aesthetic—there’s an appreciation for craft and quality in that world that aligns with something in me. I love a workshop of any kind. My father had one that held countless tools, bolts, nails, saws, a welding rig—you name it, he had it. He was meticulous about his tools and believed in everything having a place. Bo Henson down the road had a great workshop too. He worked on cars and machinery and kept fun-sized Butterfinger candy bars in the refrigerator. Both my grandfathers had workshops. I digress. Brian appreciated craftsmanship and high standards across artistic disciplines. And he loved motorcycles. Ironically, it was an accident on one that killed him this past week.

Back when I was doing the Sunday Selfie Series, he was kind enough to participate. I loved his answers to the five questions, which I’ve copied and pasted here.

Rest in power and peace, dear Brian. You were an original cat. I miss you already.

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SUNDAY SELFIE SERIES #44: One of the most lovable and one of my very favorite people on the planet, Brian Awitan. His eye, taste, and talent are legendary, but Mr. Awitan’s depth goes far beyond his proclivity for the aesthetic. His compass is set toward truth and beauty in all things, with humanity at the top of the list. I hope our friendship lasts so long that we grow tired of talking about the answers to these questions and instead just meet to sip tea in the garden, and know.

1. What has humbled you more than anything else?

My children, at every turn. Their level of consciousness pushes my awareness. Their mother has endless depth and otherworldly emotional intelligence. Both my daughters possess the same and I can’t recall a time when they’ve actually learned from me! Ha.

2. Do you feel like you’ve gotten a good education?

I was in a public school system awarded exemplary status. I was raised with a lot of entitlement around me, so I benefited scholastically from that environment of expectation and drive. Those habits carried over through college.

3. Do you believe forgiveness benefits the forgiver? or the transgressor?

I definitely feel like it benefits the forgiver. In the pursuit of wholeness, it’s a worthwhile endeavor to let things go. holding onto them doesn’t teach us much. It took me a long time to appreciate the beauty of release. For me, that release (in everything) just allowed more space for energy that I might not have seen because I was hanging onto so much. And as for the transgressor? Well, what they think of me is none of my business. And whatever the situation or outcome, good or bad, is contributing to my wholeness.

4. What is your proudest accomplishment?

My mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. She didn’t want treatment. I moved back home so we could wring out every drop of each day. I had the privilege of reminding her that every sacrifice she made on behalf of the family resulted in her children thriving to expanded proportions. My mere presence to have been a mirror for her to reflect back on a fulfilled life will have been my greatest contribution.

5. How would you like to live out your golden years?

The perfect journey for me is one you walk alone but at the same time you know someone is waiting for you at the end. That makes it golden.