Gone Fallow
it’s part of the process
Friday afternoon, I got home from work and as soon as I set my things down, I thought, “I need to send something to my Substack folks. I promised them a Five for Friday.”
I’d been sick all week. I’d returned to work that morning with renewed energy, of a sort, but an absent voice. I was grateful I didn’t have any programs scheduled for the weekend that would force me to talk. And I was fighting fatigue—my head felt like it was swimming not with only some sort of sinus disruption but with words, words, words flying everywhere.
I turned on my voice recorder and spoke what I was feeling:
“I realized today that I spend my every waking moment in words. I get up in the morning and listen to NPR Up First. I then go to work and start working with words. And I work with words all day long. And I get home, and I work with more words. I’m helping a friend with her luxury fashion business—doing copywriting and editing (and I love that work so much)—suffice to say I’m working my brain overtime and I think I’m toast in the words department at this moment. So, I’m giving myself permission to draw as an alternative outlet for now. Until all these vowels and consonants and Chicago rules of style settle down.
In essence, I’m firing myself from working outside of my work day. And I encourage everyone else to do the same. The moment I realized that’s what I needed to do, I felt about 500 lbs. lighter. Cause I also realized I always have a deadline staring me in the face. Whether it’s Sunday, whether it’s a Poets & Prophets at the museum, whatever it is, there’s an end date. Which is great. It’s a discipline. But it brings a certain amount of stress, so, I’m going to go back to my painting-loving, color-loving, adventurous child self for a little while. I’ve been missing her.
Peace. Love.
Allison
Sorry you’re under the weather, and of course self-care should be a higher priority. Substack posts should not be hanging over your head.
On another note, I sincerely hope Jetty was found safe and sound. Your story about him being missing was very worrisome. So much so, that I had a nightmare about it. Any updates would be appreciated.
Take good care and be kind to yourself!
Good for you, knowing when to take a break. Self-care is glorious, honoring that inner voice and your gut truth. Thank you for all the words previous, and I'll look forward to the words that will come after rest. One of my favorite quotes goes something like this: "A well-rested field yields a bountiful crop," attributed to a Roman poet, Ovid.